The Ballad of Hamantha

(Go away)

Life's extension lottery

Kind to some, but not to thee

Born with a rare and sad disease

She grew a ham where her head should be

Flowing hair, she was a cutie pie

Meaty face and a lovely eye

Her dream was to be a famous star

But at the rate she was goin', she wasn't going far

Hamantha, Hamantha

You were impossible to ignore

Hamantha, Hamantha

So greedy, we wanted more

(Oh no!)

Her father was a simple man (Duh!)

He wanted to help, in any way that I can

Home from school, he watched his daughter cry

In the yard, he cursed God and fired at the sky

Flowing hair, she was a cutie pie

Meaty face and a lovely eye

Dreams in the sky, her father felt her pain

And as he shot at the clouds, it began to rain

Hamantha, Hamantha

You were impossible to ignore

Hamantha, Hamantha

So greedy, we wanted more

Got a call from the doctor

He had some amazing news for her

He just developed a cure

If she hurried over now, he'd try it out on her

Burst out the door, she was beaming

Among the raindrops her happy tears were streaming

Finally freed from her pain

But something else fell with the rain

A stray bullet shot by her father

Aimlessly nested inside her

She fell to the the sidewalk, now empty

Of the life which once christened her body

(Nurse, s-she's, she's gone)

(O-oh, oh dear)

(I left a lunch on the table)

(In the operating room for the bereaved)

(A cooked ham, as is customary for these dark situations)

(U-uh, doctor, what, which one is the)

(I-I must, I must go, I must)

(Which, which one is the ham that?)

(I must go, I'm on break)

(Oh dear)

Flowing hair, she was a cutie pie

Meaty face and a lovely eye

At her time of death

Doc said, "Time to eat"

So we took a bite out of her face meat

Hamantha, Hamantha

You were impossible to ignore

(La-la-la)

Hamantha, Hamantha

So greedy, we wanted more

Soaring infinitely through space

Hamantha's soul was graced

With a glance of our humble planet

At which she was amazed

The news of her untimely death

Had spread out near and far

And through her soul, the truth was whole

The dream had crossed the bar

Hamantha had become a star

Hamantha was finally a star

Hamantha had become a star

Hamantha was finally a star