Going Through Changes

I'm goin' through changes

I'm goin' through changes

Lately, I really feel like I'm rollin' for for delf like Philly

Feel like I'm losin' control of myself, I sincerely

Apologize if all that I sound like is I'm complainin'

But life keeps on complicatin' and

I'm debatin' on leavin' this world this evenin'

Even my girls can see I'm greivin'

I try and hide it, but I can't

Why do I act like I'm all high and mighty

When inside I'm dyin'? I am finally realizin' I need

Help, can't do it myself, too weak

Two weeks I've been havin' ups and downs, goin' through peaks and valleys

Dilly-dallyin' 'round with the idea of endin' the shit right here

I'm hatin' my reflection

I walk around the house tryna fight mirrors

I can't stand what I look like, yeah

I look back, what do I care?

I give a fuck, only thin' I fear is Halie

I'm afraid if I close my eyes, then I might see her, shit

I'm goin' through changes

I'm goin' through changes

I lock myself in the bedroom, bathroom, nappin' at noon

Yeah, dad's in a bad mood, he's always snappin' at you

Marshall, what happened that you

Can't stop with these pills and you fallin' off with your skills

And your own fans are laughin' at you?

It become a problem, you too pussy to, get tackled? Get up

Be a man, stand, a real man woulda had this shit handled

Know you just had your heart ripped out and crushed

They say Proof just flipped out, homie just whipped out and bust, nah

It ain't like Doodie to do that

He wouldn't fuckin' shoot at nobody, he'd fight first

But dwellin' on it only makes the night worse

Now I'm poppin' Vics, Percs and Methadone pills

"Yeah Em, tight verse you killed it"

Fuckin' drug dealers hang around me like yes man

And they gon' do whatever I says when I says it

It's in their best interest to protect their investment

And I just lost my fuckin' best friend, so fuck it, I guess then

I'm goin' through changes

Don't know what I'm gonna do but I just keep on goin' through changes

I'm goin' through changes

My friend's can't understand this new me

That's understandable, man, but think how bananas you'd be

You'd be an animal too

If you were trapped in this fame, and caged in it like a zoo

And everybody's lookin' at you, what you want me to do?

I'm startin' to live like a recluse

And the truth is fame's startin' to give me an excuse

To be at a all time low, I sit alone in my home theater

Watchin' the same damn DVD of the first tour

The last tour he was still alive, and it hurts so I

Fast forward sleeping pills to make me feel alright

And if I'm still awake in the middle of the night

I just take a couple more, yeah, you're motherfuckin' right

I ain't slowin' down for no one, I am almost homeward bound

Almost in a coma, yeah, homie, come on dole 'em out

Daddy, don't you die on me, Daddy, better hold your ground

Fuck, don't I know the sound of that voice? Yeah, baby, hold me down

I'm goin' through changes

Don't know what I'm gonna do but I just keep on goin' through changes

I'm goin' through changes

Wake up in the hospital full of tubes

But somehow I'm pullin' through

Swear when I come back, I'ma be bulletproof

I'ma do it just for Proof, I think I should state a few

Facts 'cause I may not get a chance again to say the truth

Shit, it just me that what if I would not have made it through?

I think about the things I woulda never got to say to you

I'd never get to make it right, so here's what I came to do

Halie, this one is for you, Whitney and Alaina, too

I still love your mother, that'll never change

Think about her everyday

We just could never get it together, hey

Wish there was a better way for me to say it but I swear on everything

I'll do anything for her on any day

There are just too many things to explain, when it rains

Guess it pours, yes, it does, wish there wasn't any pain

But I can't pretend there ain't, I ain't placin' any blame

I ain't pointin' fingers, Heaven knows I never been a saint

I know that it feels like we just pissed away our history

And just today, I looked at your picture almost if to say

I miss your self-consciously

Wish it didn't end this way

But I just had to get away

Don't know why, I don't know what else to say

I guess I'm

I'm goin' through changes

Don't know what I'm gonna do but I just keep on goin' through changes

I'm goin' through changes