Once an Addict (Interlude)

Something’s got a hold on me

Sometimes I think pain is just a lack of understanding

If we could only understand it all, would we feel no pain?

God must feel no pain

(Something's got a hold on me)

Only joy

Does this mean even our suffering pleases Him?

Lost in a cloud of marijuana

Young Carolina ****, fish out of water

Step Daddy just had a daughter

With another woman

Mama ain’t recovered yet

Calling me at 12 at night

She drunk as fuck and I’m upset

'Cause why she always using me for crutch?

Growing up, I used to always see her up

Late as shit

Cigarette smoke and greatest hits from Marvin Gaye

She kill a whole bottle of some cheap chardonnay

I gotta leave this house, 'cause part of me

Dies when I see her like this

Too young to deal with pain

I rather run the streets than see her kill herself

So Ville became

My escape from a feeling I hate

Mama cursing me out

Depression's such a villainous state

I used to stay out later on purpose

Subconsciously I was nervous

That if I came home early then what would surface was

Her inner demons

And then I’d have to end up seeing my hero on ground zero

Tears flow, while Al Green blow

'Love and Happiness'

I wish that I could say the right words to cheer her up

I wish her sons love was enough

I tell her "Mama go to sleep"

She tell me “Boy, hush”

"You better pray to God you never get your heart crushed"

I shake my head in frustration

Head to my room and I can still hear the tunes with my door shut

Fuck it though!

A couple more months, I'll be gone

Off to college in dorms

Fooling myself, thinking problems are gone

But now its 1am and my mama dialing my phone

I know she intoxicated

And soon this high that I’m on

Comes crashing down

She lit talking drunk shit

I’m pissed but I’m still all ears, like Bassett hounds

Thinking to myself

"Maybe my mama need help"

"Don’t she got work in the morning?"

"Why she do this to herself?"

Hate how she slurring her words

Sounding so fucking absurd

This ain’t the woman I know

Why I just sit and observe?

Why don’t say how I feel?

When I do, she’s defensive for real

Well maybe things get better with time, I heard it heals

Little did I know, how deep her sadness would go

Looking back, I wish I woulda did more

Instead of running

Something’s got a hold on me

I can’t let go out of fear

I won’t be free

Something’s got a hold on me

I can’t let go out of fear

I won’t be

Something’s got a hold on me

I can’t let go

Life can bring much pain

There are many ways to deal with this pain

Choose wisely