Poor Pirates

Let me begin with a hardy, ho ho

And a tale that nobody tells well

I've not come all the way from En-C-I-N-O

To be treated like sewage that smells

I'm certainly not that surprised

For this story is older than time

Me peg-legged pirating brethren and I

Are society's slog-ridden slime

We've all been cast out as scalawag rogues

With fire in our beards and our eyes

There's a side to us pirates that nobody knows

And it's soft as a baby's backside

Some of us just want adventures

The open sea wind in our earrings

Why are we constantly misunderstood?

Don't you know pirates have feelings?

Poor pirates, P-O-O-Arrr

Poor pirates, P-O-O-Arrr

Poor pirates, can't deny this simple truth

Poor pirates, P-O-O-Arrr

People, too

Nice harmonies, mateys

Think of how hard we have had it (So hard)

Out on ships, there is not much to eat (Not much to eat)

And dentists hate pirate insurance (Yo-ho, no)

Which is why we've so many gold teeth (We've too many gold teeth)

Me laundry stays damp and me boots start to stink

And me fingernails, filthy and dirty

Me internet loads unbelievably slow

And me bedtime's around 7:30

Poor pirates, P-O-O-Arrr

Poor pirates, P-O-O-Arrr

Poor pirates, can't deny this simple truth

We're poor pirates, P-O-O-Arrr

Poor pirates, P-O-O-Arrr

Poor pirates have it so much worse than you

We've got pirate parades, to which nobody comes

Captain Kidd hosts a marathon but nobody runs

Long John Silver invented the blooming onion

But you think he gets credit for that? No

Captain Bob Hook, no one knows his first name

And old Greenbeard's been driven completely insane

Hardly anyone celebrates our one holiday

(Arrr) Talk Like a Pirate Day

We are pirates, P-O-O-Arrr

Poor pirates, P-O-O-Arrr

Poor pirates, can't deny this simple truth

(Can't deny that we're poor)

Pirates are people, too

Poor pirates, P-O-O-Arrr

Poor pirates, P-O-O-Arrr

Poor pirates, can't deny this simple truth

That pirates, P-O-O-Arrr

People too

Yo-ho, ha