Anti-Depressant

You know, like, sometimes, man, I just

I just sit in my room, you know?

And just stare at the ceiling

Just tryna understand life you know?

Tired of hurtin', just wanna be a better person

Feels

I'm sorry I'm not who I used to be

I guess I used to be a sucker for love

But I promise, ain't no more using me

I used to love you like there was two of me

But I really can't be mad because I'm glad of what I grew to be

I guess it's how it goes usually

I write this eulogy for you and me with these sad stipulations

You know, in order for you to grow

You have to stop watering dead situations

Even though deep in your heart you may feel sad inside

But that pain is only temporary, no need to agonize

One day you'll be glad it died

And satisfied knowing that you did all that you can do

So what if nobody understands you?

All that matters is you learn to light your own candle

In other words, the light inside

So when times get dark, you can always see things on the brighter side

Because you have the light inside

I guess it's how it go, you know?

We live and we learn, we grow through what we go through

But don't let life break you

Don't let failed relationships make you harder

'Cause when you do, you lose your happiness

You lose your sense of love and how to love

You know? And create your own happiness

Happiness relying on anybody other than yourself is only temporary

And love yourself, it's a cold world out here

I understand that nobody wants to be alone

And it's human nature to be passionate

But when somebody continues to hurt you

Why do you accept them back again?

Are you willing to sacrifice a few extra months

In exchange for your happiness?

Maybe you're also afraid of being alone

And that's the only thing thats stopping you

But it's never too late or impossible to find love in solitude

I know it may bother you and inside of you

It may feel like when doves cry

But sometimes it's more than OK for you to let go

And maybe let love die

And honestly, sometimes even I sit in my room

And I cry myself to sleep

Try not to let these suicidal thoughts get the best of me

I really don't believe love and relationships are in my destiny

Because everybody that I've been with has made a complete mess of me

And so I really don't think I have much left in me

I know God is only testing me, but I'm still in this deep depression

Maybe I didn't learn the first time and so I have to repeat the lesson

You know everything in life comes with a deeper message

But deep inside of me, I'm still tryna fight the feelin'

Of leaving this world, even though I know I have the right to live it

This really can't be the life I'm livin'

And I remember that night so vivid

You left me in the street with blood in my eyes

Without a care in the world, like you had nothing inside

I guess that's what I get for trusting your lies

Feels

Hey man, like life is a roller coaster

I guess, but it's worth the ride you know?

There's ups and downs, there's trials and tribulations

There's hurt, there's pain, and there's happiness

You know but, all of this helps us become better people

You know, I mean and we all have suicidal thoughts

And least in my world we do, you know what I mean?

And in this world there's no escape

I mean the only escape is within you

And you have to dig deep inside of you and find that

Thing that makes you happy

Find that thing that totally fulfills you in life

Because, life is all about self fulfillment

And nobody else can fill your cup

It is up to you, to fill your own cup

I mean, that is the purpose of life is self fulfillment

I mean, and learning to love yourself

So, like I said we all go through the same things you know?

I'm no different from you

I'm no different from you, you know what I mean?

Love is what binds us and I mean, and that's unfortunate sometimes

That, those that say they love us prove otherwise through their actions

And that's when you need to just separate yourself

From all the negativity, from all the toxic situations

And all the toxic relationships and work on you

'Cause at the end of the day, man and woman

It's all about you, it's all about you, yeah

I pray for your healin', I mean, I pray for your happiness

All abundance, it's gonna be OK