Bad Habits

I don't know how deep to go, but I'ma let it all out

So come peep the show

Got my first Xanny off my mate, I ain't gonna say his name

It was fine at the start, I used to treat it like a game

This is 'round the time when the Nebulizer dropped those

Auto types of shit

But that's when I couldn't stop

And it played with my brain, but I focused on the music

I focused so much, didn't realize I'd abused it

Never had a plan to stop, not in that prediction

Gone for the fame, couldn't see I had addictions

One turned to two, turned to three, turned to four

Then I needed 'bout six a day, a little bit more

Mixing it with lean, gotta stop people seeing

What the damages can be, just by looking at me

Shit, what to do? 'Cause I feel like a fool

And I hate any rapper making Xannys look cool

Shit was getting bad, all filled up with hateful

Thoughts in my mind, I would argue with April

Agreed on stop, shit, I'll give it a go

By the first fucking night, I felt like slitting my throat

Second night, my body shaking, the ambulance appearing

I'm thinking in my mind, what the fuck they doing here?

Suddenly I'm caught up and there's no time to muck around

Lucky I got here, 'cause my body 'bout to shut down

Back to square one, nah man, you can't quit

You gotta ween yourself off of some hard shit

What the fuck, man? My brain is a mess

I can't remember that much, feel the pain in my legs

I wish it was that easy, I could give up and go

And people still got the heart to tell me pick up my phone

Maybe that's my fault, I didn't speak on it much

I didn't see it as a problem, I would keep it from cunts

Race could always tell when I couldn't pronounce

Certain words, brain dead, yeah, should I be proud?

Anxiety was killing me, the doctors couldn't deal with me

Put me on the Perc and cut me down on the pills a week

All scared, 'cause I feel on my own

I told 'em, let me chill

Now they think I'm dissin' and rogue

Waking up tired, I've gotta take more pills

And I don't even wanna take 'em, is this fuckin' for real?

Losing touch with myself, it's like reality's false

It's like I'm walking around without having a pulse

It's the feeling of death, or like nothing is left

Is there a hole in my chest? Just put a hole in my head

You see, the older I get, it's getting scary as fuck

I'm like an egg in the head, I wasn't aware of these drugs

The shit that they cause, I talk to mirrors and walls

I don't think this shit ever but the pills are all for

I opened up and no rest, told cunts everything

That I'd done ice, didn't leave out anything

I quit that shit, yeah, I left it flat dead

That was five yeas ago, they still think I'm a crackhead

If that's what we're going off, fuck me dead

In five years I'll be clean, they'll be calling me a Xanny-head

Funny how the world works for a paycheck

Once the fame hit, I became a trainwreck

I wasn't shit anyway, so why does it count?

Why so many people love me, I can't figure it out

But I'm telling you now

Don't you follow my path

Look, you couldn't if you tried, 'cause I'm going in hard

Fuck a popping a pill, just to go out the day

How'd I end up like this? I dunno, it's a way

Well, I'm blaming the fame, yeah, I said it before

But it's enough to make me hard, feel like ending it all

But I brush it off, got the fans on my side, too

And my girl, and my brothers, and the whole crew spilling the truth

It's like all I can do

That's why I don't have time for rappers that are saying they're true when

They lie to their fans, apologize in the end

I never lied to mine, and this is why I'm the man

I tell you what I'm going through, I don't care what they think

That's why I'm triple-popping pills, leaning over the sink

I'm almost fucking crying as I'm writing this shit

'Cause of all my close ones and the lives I affect

I came from the bottom, I made it my problem

Created the option that fame has adopted

My brain gotta stop it, insane, I am not this

Strange, we just got sick, I'ma watch your clock tick

Just fuck off, I said it, just fuck off

Forward one more time and just find a bridge to jump off

Fucking idiots, thinking that this shit is cool

'Til they dine in the vomit of their own drool

What I mean to say, don't do what I've done

I've cut down on the program, yeah, I've won

Repped it from the street, turned into a starving

Caught a fucking habit on the Xanax, but the bars went

Crazy, and I'm just dealing with fame

I just want my fans to know that I'll still be the same, I'm good