Johnny Jump Up / Morrison's Jig

I'll tell you a story that happened to me

One day as I went out to Youghal by the sea

The sun, it was bright and the day, it was warm

Says I, a quiet pint wouldn't do me no harm

I went in to the barman, I said, "Give me a stout"

Says the barman, I'm sorry, all the beer, 'tis sold out

Try whiskey or vodka, ten years in the wood

Says I, I'll try cider, I heard that it's good

Oh, never, oh, never, oh, never again

If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten

I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up

After drinkin' a pint of the Johnny Jump Up

After lowerin' the third, I headed straight for the yard

Where I bumped into Brophy, the big civic guard

Come here to me, boy, don't you know I'm the law?

Well, I upped with my fist and I shot to his jaw

He fell to the ground with his knees doubled up

But it  wasn't I hit him, t'was the Johnny Jump Up

And the next thing I met down in Youghal by the sea

Was a cripple on crutches and says he to me

I'm afraid of me life, I'll be hit by a car

Would you help me across to the Railwayman's Bar?

And after three pints of that cider, so sweet

He threw down his crutches and he danced on his feet

Oh, never, oh, never, oh, never again

If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten

'Cause I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up

After drinkin' a pint of that Johnny Jump Up

Now I went up the Lee Road, a friend for to see

They call it the Madhouse in Cork by the Lee

When I got up there, the truth I do tell

They had the poor bugger locked up in his cell

Says the guard testing him, "Say these words, if you can

Around the rugged rocks the ragged rascal ran"

Tell them I'm not crazy, tell them I'm not mad

T'was only six pints of that cider I had

Now a man died in the Union by the name of McNabb

They washed him and placed him outside on a slab

And after the coroner, his measurements did take

His wife took him home to a bloody fine wake

T'was about twelve o'clock and the beer, it was high

The corpse, he sat up and he says with a sigh

"I can't get to Heaven, they won't let me up

Till I bring them a pint of the Johnny Jump Up"

Oh, never, oh, never, oh, never again

If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten

'Cause I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up

After drinkin' a pint of that Johnny Jump Up

Oh, never, oh, never, oh, never again

If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten

'Cause I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up

After drinkin' a pint of the Johnny Jump Up