Me and My Monkey

It was me and my monkey

Him with his dungarees and rollerblades

Smoking filter tips, reclining in the passenger seat

Of my supercharged, jet black Chevrolet

He had the soft top down

He liked the wind in his face

He said, "Son, you ever been to Vegas?"

I said, "No," he said, "That's where we're gonna go

You need a change of pace"

When we hit the strip with all the wedding chapels and the neon signs

He said, "I left my wallet in El Segundo"

And proceeded to take two grand of mine

We made tracks to the Mandalay Bay Hotel

Asked the bell boy if he'd take me and monkey as well

He looked in the passenger seat of my car

And with a smile he said

"If your monkey's got that kind of money, sir

Then we've got a monkey bed"

Me and my monkey

With a dream and a gun

I'm hoping my monkey

Don't point that gun at anyone

Me and my monkey

Like Butch and the Sundance Kid

Trying to understand

Why he did what he did

Why he did what he did

And at the elevator I hit the 33rd floor

He had a room up top with a panoramic view

Was like nothing you've ever seen before

He went to sleep in the bidet and when he awoke

He ran his little monkey fingers through the Yellow Pages

Called up escort services and ordered some okie doke

Forty minutes later, there came a knock at the door

In walked this big bad-ass baboon into my bedroom

With three monkey whores

"Hi, my name is Sunshine, these are my girls

Lace my palm with silver, baby, oh yeah, and they'll rock your world"

So I watched pay per view and polished my shoes and my gun

Was diggin' on Kurt Cobain sing about Lithium

There came a knock at the door and in walked Sunshine

"What's up?"

"You better get your ass in here, boy, your monkey is having

Too much of a good time"

Me and my monkey

Drove in search of the sun

Me and my monkey

Don't point that gun at anyone

Me and my monkey

Like Billy the Kid

Trying to understand

Why he did what he did

Why he did what he did

Got tickets to see Sheena Easton

The monkey was high

Said it was a burning ambition to see her before he died

We left before encores

He couldn't sit still

Sheena was a blast, baby, but my monkey was ill

Went and played blackjack

Kept hittin' twenty-three

Couldn't help but notice this Mexican just starin' at me

Or was it my monkey?

I couldn't be sure

It's not like you've never seen a monkey in rollerblades

And dungarees before

Now don't test my patience 'cause we're not about to run

That's a bad-ass monkey, boy, and he's packing a gun

"My name is Rodriguez," he says with death in his eye

"I've been chasing you for a long time, amigos

And now your monkey is gonna die"

Me and my monkey

Drove in search of the sun

Me and my monkey

We don't wanna kill no Mexican

But we got ten itchy fingers

One thing to declare

When the monkey is high

You do not stare

You do not stare

You do not stare

Looks like we got ourselves a Mexican standoff here, boy

And I ain't about to run

Put your gun down, boy

How did I get mixed up with this fucking monkey anyhow?