Pledge Allegiance To the Hag

There’s a little dive on a dead-end road

Called the Cross-Eyed Cricket Waterin’ Hole

Where you can hear the sound of a steel guitar

And get loud and rowdy on PBR

But at the top of every hour, man, you can hear a pin drop

'Cause old Jack drops in a quarter

And plays Merle on the jukebox, and we stop

And tip our hats and raise our glasses of cold, cold beer

They say country’s fading

But we’re still wavin' that flag around here

When it’s time to go, you know you’re welcome back

Where the people pledge allegiance to the Hag

When the weekend comes and the weather’s clear

There’s a high spot fifteen miles from here

Where you can always find a few dusty trucks

With the windows down and the radio up

We sit there poppin’ tops, shootin’ bull, and singin’ songs

But you can bet your boots that when Haggard comes on

We tip our hats and raise our glasses of cold, cold beer

They say country’s fading

But we’re still wavin' that flag around here

When it’s time to go, you know you’re welcome back

Where the people pledge allegiance to the Hag

One of these days when my time has come

You can take me back to where I’m from

Put me on a westbound train

And ship me off in the pourin’ rain

Don’t cry for me when I’m gone

Just put a quarter in the jukebox and sing me back home

And tip your hats and raise your glasses of cold, cold beer

They say country’s fading

But just keep waving that flag around here

And I know it’ll keep on coming back

Long as people pledge allegiance

Where folks still pledge allegiance

I pledge allegiance to the Hag