If You Must

It's important to practice good hygiene

At least if you want to run with my team

I'm 'bout to get into some shit that I've seen

This fool's breath forments so bad it'll melt your ice cream

They say don't say nothing if you can't say nice things

Sittin' too close to him on BART, like my eye sting

I tried to be subtle, hand him a stick of gum

I was a victim of breath on the

Running his yap about what sets he from

Gotta get some gum, gotta gets him some

He turned it down, his teeth was brown

Excruciating, boring, it was a new sensation

I had to ask the dope to pass the soap

'Cause his toe had the stench of crustaceans

Or bathrooms in the bus station

He had a can of Olde E and some raisins

Amazin'

Head-to-toe BO, he didn't know

Used to the fragrance

Just as the days went without bathin'

He felt manly and not like a maiden

He had one dread and fungus

Said he worked on people's toilets with plungers

Girls, not the guy you'd want to tongue ya

So guys, take your cue from this little number

You gotta wash your ass, if you must

You gotta wash your hair, if you must

You gotta brush your teeth, if you must

Or else you'll be funk-ay (To wash up)

You gotta wash your ass, if you must

You gotta wash your hair, if you must

You gotta brush your teeth, if you must

Or else you'll be funk-ay (To wash up)

To, to, to wash up

To, to, to, to wash up

To, to, to wash up

To, to, to, to wash up

Now in class, you need total concentration

But there's kids in the back holding conversations

Crackin' on each other and neither were poster boys

Both of 'em smelled like the type that soap avoid

Coast enjoyed a leave of absence

One fool's feet smelled like it struck some matchsticks

Brimstone

Girls would never bring him home

I was laughin' and his friend raised his tone and said

"Bud, you earled all over yourself"

"Yeah"

I'll go so deep on your ass, you'll be submerged

Like you need to do in water 'cause you smell like a turd

Wanna cap? Get some courage, your feet smell lurid

But look it up and while you at it, get a cup

And squeeze the sweat out your sweatshirt and drink it or gargle

You get our vote for most stinkiest

That **** started thinking the shit

Said I was frail, I said he was stale

Under arms is right, undergarments might

'Bout to leap out your holy sweats

Then we hold him messin', after this I'm gonna collect

****, check yourself, respect yourself

And watch your motherfuckin' body 'fore your sweatshirt melt

Like radioactive, no lady find you attractive

The funk got you captive

You don't need a map, bitch

You gotta wash your ass, if you must

You gotta wash your hair, if you must

You gotta brush your teeth, if you must

Or else you'll be funk-ay (To wash up)

You gotta wash your ass, if you must

You gotta wash your hair, if you must

You gotta brush your teeth, if you must

Or else you'll be funk-ay (To wash up)

To, to wash up

To, to, to wash up

To, to, to, to wash up

To, to, to wash up

Have some, have some, I'll have some soap for my face

Ha- ha- have some soap for my face

Ha- ha- ha- ha- have some soap for my face

Ha- ha- have some soap for my face

Ha- ha- ha- ha- have some soap for my face