Steven

Yeah, look Let me tell you about a kid named Steven He's slowly runnin' outta things to believe in Every couple of months his mom leaves him For no good reason, his step-dad beats him Not too many friends, only ever had a few of them But recently, they don't want anything to do with him Always eatin' lunch in the bathroom stall He just wants to feel normal and be cool again, yeah Always feelin' like the outcast He's been goin' crazy ever since his dad passed He needs guidance and advice but instead He only has breakdowns and flashbacks of the car crash, uh It's been gettin' harder every day If he was still around everything would be okay 'Cause his dad was always the light at the end of the tunnel But now that same damn tunnel's lookin' dark and gray He keeps quiet in the back of the class And when the bell rings, Steven hurries home fast He's scared to death, the other kids will kick his ass on the long walk home 'Cause it's happened in the past, so He's gettin' used to the black eyes and fat lips But all he's got is a fake smile and cut wrists Wishin' he could walk right up to 'em, show them the scars And say, "Look, you're the reason that I've done this" Then maybe they would finally understand And go back to how it was before it all began But he's just a little different, so they taunt him and they beat him Yeah, it's all just fun and games, they don't give a damn, yeah His older brother ain't around In and outta jail, hangin' with the wrong crowd He's been doin' coke, smokin' weed, gettin' drunk All his life he's a shame, no, he's not too proud Now his habits are rubbin' off on his little bro, yeah But guess what? Little did he know That every time he did a line, every time he lit a joint Every time he took a shot, he was sippin' mode So Steven's sittin' in his room gettin' high now Doors locked, music up, with the lights out He just takes another tote 'til his room fills with smoke Five, six, seven hours 'til he knocks out Now he started stealin' pills from his mom Eight, nine, ten at a time and now they're gone And maybe for the moment all his problems seem to fade But the high fades too after not too long And that's when it really sinks in, that's when it hits him That these goddamn drugs won't fix him Curled up on the floor, can't take it anymore Now he's talkin' to God 'cause He's the only one that gets him On his knees, lookin' up, can't stop cryin' God, I know we haven't talked in a long time But this time I really need You Please, God, help me, say something Just give me a sign, 'cause now I'm fallin' apart And I don't think that I can do it Please, God, give me the strength to pull through it Tell me, should I give up? I could end it all right now I just don't know if I'm brave enough to do it (enough to do it) 'Cause there's gotta be a better way than suicide Try to wait it out, give it time, you'll be fine But it's been so long And I still haven't been able to get rid of all the thoughts that I feel inside So sick, so angry, so mad And to top it off, no one even knows that That's when he stood up, wiped his tears, walked over to his desk And got a pen and a notepad (a notepad) He just couldn't see it gettin' any better (any better) So on a cold dark night in December (in December) Steven knew exactly what he had to do But first he sat down and wrote a couple letters One to his step-dad, one to his mother Couple to the kids at school, one to his brother Bringin' them the pain that they once brought him Tear drops on the paper, one after another (after another) "Yeah, I hope that you all feel guilty 'Cause I'm broken now, and you can't heal me And now you're all an accomplice to murder Each and every one of you have chipped in to kill me So the reason that I'm writin' you this evenin' Is to say goodbye and to tell you that I'm leavin' But don't hold your breath, 'cause I ain't never comin' back Sincerely yours, Steven"