The Season's Upon Us

The season's upon us, it's that time of the year

Brandy and eggnog, there's plenty of cheer

There's lights on the trees and there's wreaths to be hung

There's mischief and mayhem and songs to be sung

There's bells and there's holly, the kids are gung-ho

True love finds a kiss beneath fresh mistletoe

Some families are messed up while others are fine

If you think yours is crazy, well you should see mine

My sisters are wack jobs, I wish I had none

Their husbands are losers and so are their sons

My nephew's a horrible wise little twit

He once gave me a nice gift wrapped box full of shit

He likes to pelt carolers with icy snowballs

I'd like to take him out back and deck more than the halls

With family like this I would have to confess

I'd be better off lonely, distraught and depressed

The season's upon us, it's that time of the year

Brandy and eggnog, there's plenty of cheer

There's lights on the trees and there's wreaths to be hung

There's mischief and mayhem and songs to be sung

They call this Christmas where I'm from

My mom likes to cook, push our buttons and prod

My brother just brought home another big broad

The eyes rolling whispers come loud from the kitchen

I'd come home more often if they'd only quit bitching

Dad on the other hand's a selfish old sod

Drinks whiskey alone with my miserable dog

Who won't run or fetch, sure he couldn't care less

He defiled my teddy bear and left me the mess

The season's upon us, it's that time of the year

Brandy and eggnog, there's plenty of cheer

There's lights on the trees and there's wreaths to be hung

There's mischief and mayhem and songs to be sung

They call this Christmas where I'm from

The table's set, we raise a toast

The Father, Son and the Holy Ghost

I'm so glad this day only comes once a year

You can keep your opinions, your presents, your Happy New Year

They call this Christmas where I'm from

They call this Christmas where I'm from