Who the F**k Is Alice

Sally called when she got the word

She said I suppose you've heard

About Alice

Well I rushed to the window

And I looked outside

But I could hardly believe my eyes

As a big limousine rolled on

Into Alice's drive

Oh, I don't know why she's leaving

Or where she's gonna go

I guess she's got her reasons

But I just don't want to know

'Cause for twenty four years

I've been living next door to Alice

(Alice, who the fuck is Alice?)

Twenty four years just waiting for a chance

To tell her how I feel

And maybe get a second glance

Now I've got to get used to not living

Next door to Alice

(Alice, who the fuck is Alice?)

Grew up together

Two kids in the park

We carved our initials deep in the bark

Me and Alice

Now she walks through the door

With her head held high

And just for a moment

I caught her eyes

As a big limousine pulled slowly

Out of Alice's drive

Oh, I don't know why she's leaving

Or where she's gonna go

I guess she's got her reasons

But I just don't want to know

'Cause for twenty four years

I've been living next door to Alice

(Alice, who the fuck is Alice?)

Twenty four years just waiting for a chance

To tell her how I feel

And maybe get a second glance

Now I've got to get used to not living

Next door to Alice

(Alice, who the fuck is Alice?)

Sally called back

And asked how I felt

And she said

I know how to help

Get over Alice

She said, now Alice is gone

But I'm still here

You know I've been waiting for twenty four years

And the big limousine disappeared

Oh, I don't know why she's leaving

Or where she's gonna go

I guess she's got her reasons

But I just don't want to know

'Cause for twenty four years

I've been living next door to Alice

(Alice, who the fuck is Alice?)

Twenty four years just waiting for a chance

To tell her how I feel

And maybe get a second glance

Now I've got to get used to not living

Next door to Alice

(Alice, who the fuck is Alice?)

And I never got used

To not living next door to Alice