St. George and the Dragonet

The legend you are about to hear is true

Only the needle should be changed to protect the record

This is the countryside

My name is St. George, I'm a knight

Saturday, July tenth, 8:05 p.m

I was working out of the castle on the night watch

When a call came in from the chief

A dragon had been devouring maidens

Homicide, my job, slay him

You call me, chief?

Yes, the dragon again, devouring maidens

The King's daughter may be next

Mmm-hmm, you got a lead?

Oh, nothing much to go on

Sade, did you take that 45 automatic into the lab, to have them check on it?

Yeah, you were right

I was right?

Yeah, It was a gun

8:22 p.m. I talked to one of the maidens who had almost been devoured

Could I talk to you, Ma'am?

Who are you?

I'm St. George, ma'am, homicide, ma'am, I want to ask you a few questions, ma'am

I understand you were almost devoured by the Ma'am, Is that right, dragon?

It was terrible, he breathed fire on me, he burned me already

How can I be sure of that, Ma'am?

Believe me, I got it straight from the dragon's mouth

11:45 p.m. I rode over the King's highway, I saw a man, stopped to talk to him

Pardon me, sir, could I talk to you for just a minute, sir?

Sure, I don't mind

What do you do for a living?

I'm a knave

Didn't I pick you up on a nine-o-three last year for stealing tarts?

Yeah, so what, do you wanna make a federal case out of it?

No Sir, we heard there was a dragon operating in this neighborhood

We just to know if you've seen him

Sure, I seen him

Mmm-hmm, could you describe him for me?

What's to describe, you see one dragon, you seen 'em all

Would you try to remember sir, Just for the record

We just want to get the facts, sir

Well, he was, you know, he had orange polka dots

Yes, sir

Purple feet, breathing fire and smoke

Mmm-hmm

And one big bloodshot eye right in the middle of his forehead and uh, like that

Notice anything unusual about him?

No, he's just your run-of-the-mill dragon, you know

Mmm-hmm yes sir, you can go now

Hey-hey, by the way, how you gonna catch him?

I thought you'd never ask, a Dragonet

3:05 p.m. I was riding back into the courtyard to make my report to the lab

Then it happened

It was the dragon

Hey I'm the fire-breathing dragon, you must be St. George, right?

Yes, sir

I see you got one of them new 45 caliber swords

That's about the size of it

Ha-ha-ha-ha, oh-ha-ha-ha-ehe, you'd slay me?

That's what I wanted to talk to you about

What do you mean?

I'm taking you in to five-o-two, you'll figure it out

What's the charge?

Devouring maidens out of season

Out of season, you'll never pin that rap on me, do you hear me cop?

Yeah, I hear you, I got you on a four-12 too

A four-12, what's a four-12?

Over-acting, let's go

On September the fifth, the dragon was tried and convicted

His fire was put out and his maiden-devouring license revoked

Maiden devouring out of season, is punishable by a term of not less than 50

Or more than three hundred years