Godzilla Genealogy Bop

I'm confused. Uh, just who is this Godzilla guy?

Yes, wise one. Please, teach us

I don't know if you're ready for this

Oh, please Mr. Joel. Please! Come on. Please! Please! Please! Please! Please!

Okay, my little robot friends, but we only pass this way once. This is called the "Godzilla Genealogy Bop." Would you hit it, Professor Cambot?

In order to know Godzilla, we've got to look into his past

You know studying genealogy is gonna be a blast

Ah, you've got it little robot pal, we're swinging into high

Come on, let's cut to the chase you couple of geeks

And get to the family tree!

Huh?

Well, it started with a nuclear blast and pets that were released

Oh, like--

--baby alligators and other nasty beasts?

Right

The fusion reaction caused them to grow a thousand times their size

Oh

Well, that explains Godzilla's attractive tail and thunderous thighs!

Right

Ah!

Now you're getting it little buddy--

Ah!

--but now we must move on

Uh huh

Godzilla's not the only one to benefit from the A-bomb

Yeah, look, there's Aunty Ness from Scotland's Loch, they married in the spring

And their first-born was Godzooky, and now we begin to sing!

Godzookie went to Hollywood, an agent to the stars

He had an affair with Lorna Luft and smoked those big cigars

And outta the lusty Luft affair Ron Perlman resulted. Huh

You know, surgery was considered for him, but nobody was consulted!

Oh, I did it again

Then Ron met Yoko Ono, and they began to spawn

A couple of hundred horrible things as green as Forest Lawn

There they are: there's Kermit the Frog

The Swamp Thing, Hulk, and Ernest Borgnine too!

But Ernest Borgnine isn't green!

Well ya put him on a boat and he is!

What?

Hey! Who's that at the bottom, a-wallowin' in his shame?

Oh, that's just Steve Guttenberg of Police Academy fame

Huh

To wrap it up, the worst mutation...

No, you don't suppose?!

Oh, yes it is, the horror of horrors--

--Karl Malden's nose!