The Jumbo Breakfast Roll (Vegetarian Mix)

Here's a tune, lads, that means an awful lot to me

I know it means feck all to breed it down there

It's a tune called the Jumbo Breakfast Roll, and it goes something like this

Well I wake up in the morning and I jump straight out of bed

I grab a hold of that luminous jacket and shake that old porter head

Haven't time for the fancy breakfast or put muesli in a bowl

I just head to the stat oil garage for the jumbo breakfast roll

Two eggs, two sausage two rasher, two bacon, two puddings one black, one white

All stacked like a tower on top of each other and rolled up good and tight

If you're having some tea, the milks over there, and you'll find sugar in the bowl

Says she, "Do you want some sauce on that?" Says I, "I do in my roll"

Now whether you're a chippie or a sparkie or a brickie or a team just tarring the road

Or a shower of lads coming back from the razz with a crowd or on your own

If you're working up a ladder or peeling pig's bladder or find yourself digging in a hole

There's no sight better than melting butter from a jumbo breakfast roll

Two eggs, two sausage, two rasher, two bacon, two puddings, one black, one white

All stacked like a tower on top of each other and rolled up good and tight

If you're having some tea, the milks over there, and you'll find sugar in the bowl

Says she, "Do you want some sauce on that?" Says I, "I do in my roll"

Now just the other day after me roll and tea, in me gut I got an awful ache

Well, I went to me doctor, he says, "See, that's an artery block, you have every morning at break

Ah, but I know there's too many words left to stop bloody Bob Dylan

So I changed my lifestyle, I had to walk five miles seeing a dietician called Noel

But hanging from me head to see two runny eggs and a jumbo breakfast roll

Two eggs, two sausage, two rasher, two bacon, two puddings, one black, one white

All stacked like a tower on top of each other and rolled up good and tight

If you're having some tea, the milks over there, and you'll find sugar in the bowl

Says she, "Do you want some sauce on that?" Says I, "I do in my roll"

Alright, let's take it nice and handy now

Sad verse coming, sad verse coming out

This'll give Breda a good bloody laugh

Now the years have moved on

And my life has changed

And now I'm a different man

I'm after losing three stone, doing lime as a girl called Joan

And we are both vegetarian

Now my blood sugar levels are good to go

And my cholesterol is low

But in the morning I'd sell my soul

Just to sit outside and eat my eggs all in my shell style in my forecourt

A little jumbo breakfast roll

Two eggs, two sausage, two rasher, two bacon, two puddings, one black, one white

All stacked like a tower on top of each other and rolled up good and tight

If you're having some tea, the milks over there, and you'll find sugar in the bowl

Says she, "Do you want some sauce on that?" Says I, "I do in my roll"

Two eggs, two sausage, two rasher, two bacon, two puddings, one black, one white

All stacked like a tower on top of each other and rolled up good and tight

If you're having some tea, the milks over there, and you'll find sugar in the bowl

Says she, "Do you want some sauce on that?" Says I, "I do oh, my hoe"

How is that?