Three Little Pigs

Why don't you sit right back

And I, I may tell you a tale

A tale of three little pigs

And a big bad wolf

Well the first little piggy, well he was kinda hick

He spent most of his says just a-dreamin' of the city

And then one day he bought a guitar

He moved to Hollywood to become a star

But living on the farm, he knew nothing of the city

Built his house out of straw, what a pity

And then one day, jammin' on some chords

Along came the wolf, knockin' on his door

Little pig, little pig, let me in

Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin

Little pig, little pig, let me in

Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin

Well I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in

Huffin', puffin', blow your house in

Huffin', puffin', blow your house in

Huffin' and a-puffin' and I'll blow your house in

Well the second little piggy, well he was kinda stoked

He spend most of his say just in ganja smokin'

Huffin', puffin', down in Venice Beach

Gettin' paid money for religious speech

He build his shelter from what he garbage picked

Mostly made up of old cans and sticks

Then one day, he was crankin' out Bob Marley

And along came the wolf on his big, bad Harley

Little pig, little pig, let me in

Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin

Little pig, little pig, let me in

Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin

Well I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in

Huffin', puffin', blow your house in

Huffin', puffin', blow your house in

Huffin' and a-puffin' and I'll blow your house in

Well the third little piggy, the grade-A student

His daddy was a rock star named Pig Nugent

Earned his master's degree from Harvard College

Built his house from his architect knowledge

A tri-level mansion, Hollywood Hills

Daddy's rock stardom paid for the bills

And then one day came the old house smasher

The big bad wolf, the little piggy slasher

Little pig, little pig, let me in

Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin

Little pig, little pig, let me in

Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin

Well I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in

Huffin', puffin', blow your house in

Huffin', puffin', blow your house in

Huffin' and a-puffin' and I'll blow your house in

Well the big bad wolf, well he huffed and he puffed all that he could

And lo and behold, the little piggy's house stood

"It's made out of concrete", the little piggy shouted

The wolf just frowned as he pouted

So they called 911 like any piggy would

They sent out Rambo just as fast as they could

Yo wolf face, I'm your worst nightmare

Your ass is mine

Well the wolf fell dead as you can plainly see

That's the end of the story for you and me

If you still give a listen, you just may

Hear a big wolf or little piggy say

Little pig, little pig, let me in

Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin

Little pig, little pig, let me in

Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin

Well I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in

Huffin', puffin', blow your house in

Huffin', puffin', blow your house in

Huffin', puffin', blow your house in

Huffin' and a-puffin' and I'll blow your house in

Huffin' and a-puffin' and I'll blow your house in

Huffin' and a-puffin' and I'll blow your house in

Huffin' and a-puffin' and I'll blow your house in

And the moral of the story is that bands with no talent

Can easily amuse idiots with a stupid puppet show