The Twelve Pains of Christmas

The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Is finding a Christmas tree

The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Rigging up the lights

And finding a Christmas tree

The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Hangovers

Rigging up the lights

And finding a Christmas tree

The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Sending Christmas cards

Hangovers

Rigging up the lights

And finding a Christmas tree

The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Five months of bills

Sending Christmas cards

Hangovers

Rigging up the lights

And finding a Christmas tree

The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Facing my in-laws

Five months of bills

I hate those Christmas cards

Hangovers

Rigging up these lights

And finding a Christmas tree

The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

The Salvation Army

Facing my in-laws

Five month of bills

Sending Christmas cards

Oh jeez

I'm tryna rig up these lights

And finding a Christmas tree

The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

I want a Transformer for Christmas

Charities, and what do you mean your in-laws?

Five months of bills

Ah, makin' out these cards

Oh, Edith, get me a beer, huh?

What, we have no extension cords?

And finding a Christmas tree

The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Finding parking spaces

Daddy I want some candy

Donations

Facing my in-laws

Five months of bills

Writing out those Christmas cards

Hangovers

Now why the hell are they blinking?

And finding a Christmas tree

The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Batteries not included?

No parking spaces

Buy me something

Get a job you bum

Facing my in-laws

Five months of bills

Yo-ho, sending Christmas cards

Aw jeez look at this

One light goes out they all go out

And finding a Christmas tree

The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Stale TV specials

Batteries not included?

No parking spaces

Mom, I gotta go to the bathroom

Charities

She's a witch I hate her

Five months of bills

Oh I don't even know half these people

Who's got the toilet paper?

Get a flashlight I blew a fuse

And finding a Christmas tree

The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Singing Christmas carols

Stale TV specials

Batteries not included?

No parking?

Ah, ah

Charities

Gotta make 'em dinner

Five months of bills

I'm not sending them, Mister, that's it

Shut up, you

Fine you're so smart you rig up the lights

And finding a Christmas tree