Boy Meets Girl

Hi!

Hi!

I'm a baby

What do you think I am? A loaf of bread?

You could be, what do I know? I'm just born, I'm a baby

I don't even know if I'm under a tree or in a hospital or what

I'm just so glad to be here

Well, I'm a baby too

Have it your own way, I don't want to fight about it

What are you scared? Yes, I am, I'm a little scared

I'll tell you why, see, I don't know if I'm a boy or a girl yet

What's that got to do with it?

Well, if you're a boy and I'm a girl, you can beat me up

You think I want to lose a tooth my first day alive?

What's a tooth?

Search me, I'm just born, I'm a baby, I don't know nothing yet

Do you think you're a girl?

I don't know, I might be, I think I am, I've never been anything before

Let me see, let me take a little look around

Mm-mm, cute feet, small, dainty, yep, yep

I'm a girl, that's it, girl time!

What do you think I am?

You? That's easy, you're a boy

You sure?

Of course, I'm sure

I'm alive already four, five minutes, right?

I haven't been wrong yet

Gee, I don't feel like a boy

That's because you can't see yourself

Why? What do I look like?

Bald, you're bald, fella

Bald, bald, bald, you're bald as a ping-pong ball, are you bald?

So?

So, boys are bald and girls have hair

Are you sure?

Of course, I'm sure, who's bald, your mother or your father?

My father

I rest my case

Huh, you're bald too

You're kidding

No, I'm not

Don't look!

Why?

Ugh, a bald girl, yuck, disgusting

Maybe you're a boy and I'm a girl

There you go again, I told you

I'm a girl, I know it, I know it, I'm a girl and you're a boy

I think you're wrong

I'm never wrong

What about shaving?

What about it?

You just shaved, right? Wrong

Exactly! And you know why?

Because everyone's born with a clean shave

It's just that girls keep theirs and boys don't

So what does that prove?

Tomorrow morning, the one that needs a shave, he's a boy

Well, I can't wait until tomorrow morning

See, that proves it, girls are patient, boys are impatient

Yeah, what else?

Can you keep a secret? Absolutely

There you go, boys keep secrets, girls don't

Hmm, go on, are you afraid of mice? No

I am, I'm terrified of them

I hate them, squeak, squeak, squeak

What do you want to be when you grow up? A fireman

What did I tell you?

How about you?

A cocktail waitress, does that prove anything to you?

Hmm, you must be right

I told you, I'm always right, you're a boy and I'm the girl

I guess so, oh, wait, here comes the nurse to change our diapers

About time too, I have never been so uncomfortable in my life

Hey, look at that!

What?

You see that?

I am a girl and you're a boy

Hey, it sure looks like it

What do you think of that?

I can't understand it

Well, it sure goes to show you

What? You can't judge a book by its cover

Ha, ha, ha, what does that mean?

How should I know? I'm only a baby

So am I, goo?

Goo