Pain So Heavy

I got issues with abandonment.

You say you love me and I am convinced,

But when you said you thought about leaving your kids, I told myself I couldn't stand the risk.

Flashback to the days I was waiting on my mama just to pull couldn't handle it

Got a hole in my heart, oh Lord, I rebel against my lover like an anarchist

Oh God.

She says she would catch me through hard times and now its her hands I miss

Now I gotta move on so long

Got me fighting just to

Be strong

Some days I be asking if I want these women cuz more than some loving, swear I need some healing like,

Ooh God damn

The way that she touches and tease me.

These Instagram girls don't appease me.

I love her, but she don't believe me.

She break up with me like it's easy.

Relationships hard when emotional scars got me in cycles like laundry I wash,

Ooh god damn

As go back and forth in this tug of war

Hate it when you petty, and you immature.

Ooh God damn

But I guess I'm the same. Releasing my pain,

Looking for lovers that's gonna remain.

Pain so heavy it could tear my back up

Feeling so low swear I need some back up

Pain so heavy it could tear my back up

Feeling so low swear I need some back up

My mama came back in my life at adult age

Not whipping that belt age.

A black Cinderella they called me like Brandy

In Harlem like Cindy

Step mama she put me down, always offend me,

Pops hardly defend me.

I'm looking for love in the women I meet.

They calling me selfish this shit isn't sweet.

I'm hot and I'm cold like a project furnace with the windows up

I'm scared to death to give me trust away lost faith at burials.

  

I'm throwing myself in my work like I need that.

She barely believe that

She see right through me, like a picture frame.

I'm praying that God help me from my way cuz

Pain so heavy it could tear my back up

Feeling so low swear I need some back up

Pain so heavy it could tear my back up

Feeling so low swear I need some back up

Help me find my way

oh oh

Help me find my way

ooooh

Help me find my way

Help me

Help me

oh

Help me find my way

Help me find my way

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

Help me find my way

Help me find my way

ooooooo

Help me