album cover
Last Time
Alternative Rap
Last Time was released on May 30, 2025 by sowhatjay? as a part of the album Last Time - Single
album cover
Release DateMay 30, 2025
Labelsowhatjay?
LanguageEnglish
Melodicness
Acousticness
Valence
Danceability
Energy
BPM162

Credits

PERFORMING ARTISTS
sowhatjay?
sowhatjay?
Performer
Jaylen Banister
Jaylen Banister
Rap
COMPOSITION & LYRICS
Jaylen Banister
Jaylen Banister
Arranger
PRODUCTION & ENGINEERING
Manuel Salinas
Manuel Salinas
Producer
Jaylen Banister
Jaylen Banister
Recording Engineer

Lyrics

(So what?)
Hey
How you doing lately?
Man, this shit is crazy
I'd never thought I'd see you here
How long has it been?
I think at least a year
I finally figured out how to just disappear
And I've known you since a girl
And I've known you since sixth grade
Sitting in the back of the class
Reminiscing all the times we had
Couldn't picture us apart in the past
But how have you been?
Are you married?
Do you have any kids?
Think I'm getting kind of caught up in
The fact that you're here
Thought you moved to LA
Had a place up where your family stays
Had a job where they would actually pay
How's that going for you?
I just wanna know you're good
I know that things right where we left it
Weren't so understood
I battled with myself, my heart
And left you all alone
(I had left you all alone)
You promised to
Join me in all of my battles
Wasn't right of me to leave you
Tied up with a shackle
I had battled with the thought of just killing myself
How you expect me to tell you things
When I can't even grasp
That I've been crying for help?
I had memories of us
That correlated with pictures
I had to clean out my shelf
Couldn't keep living
While knowing you're with somebody else
Someone who loves you
Just like I did
Only difference is
He opens up his heart and gives
And reciprocity is new conceptually to me
I ain't know 'bout giving
Seem like everything been taken from me
I'm losing my family
I'm losing my job
I'm losing while scrambling to make ends meet
I'm losing my top
I mean, I'm really losing my mind
And I could say that I was losing you
But I'd be lying
And even when you with this new dude
I can't say I'm fine
You weren't taken from me
I simply pushed you away...
You see, I was just a child
They bullied me in school
I learned to hide it all behind
A wall that's made of steel
That's made up all in my mind
And it's an
Emotional rollercoaster
I feel that it's getting closer
I'm dumping this all on you
So suddenly, I'm so sorry
I'm feeling weak
Lemme borrow a bit of your time
Been thinking 'bout this for years
I can't stop if I start it here
I can't leave it the way it was
(I can't leave it the way it was)
No, I can't leave it the way it was
(No, I can't leave it the way it was)
Lemme borrow your ear
For just a second
I know that I can't fix, change, and make it all better
Thinking how I'll do better
How I recognize my pattern of hurt
Everything I come in contact with
It seems that they just leave
Or end up left in the dirt
And I don't know how to fix that...
I know that as a man
They say I'm 'posed to be there and be good
And handle business like you know you should
Change my ways to hide my face
So they can't see that I'm hurt
Say I'm the "poster-child" of privilege
I don't know if that works with me
I think I'm better if
I work and try to figure out me
I think I'm better off
Just tryna figure out how to breathe
Anxiety makes it messy
That panic and paralysis just makes you feel numb
Some would say that that's a pro
But I can't stand it for nun
(No, no)
I can't stand it for nun
And I can't verbalize my
Thoughts and emotions
It makes me feels dumb
Can't put my thoughts into words
I'll be stuck in a loop
This prolly the last I'll see you
So I'll tell you the truth...
I think I'll tell you truth
I can't imagine what it feels like
Waking up to be you
Is it nice or do you feel what I do
(And what I mean is)
These thoughts just crash
I don't know what they mean
And now my wrongful past
Keeps me up when I sleep
And I think I filled the trash
With lyrical letters
Praying that I get a chance
To show you I'm better
(This mailbox is full and cannot
Accept any new messages at this time)
(Goodbye)
Part of me wants to get back with you
Part of me just wants me
To forget that I'm sad 'bout you
Part of me calling me so irrational
"She ain't ever gonna understand"
Steel wall says to me
I can't break the hand
Or the hold that's it got on me
So I'll keep on writing songs
And battling walls
Until I'm dead and gone
(Until I'm dead and gone)
Until I'm dead and gone
Written by: Jaylen Banister
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