Didn't Ask To Be This Way

I've said too much when I should have been quiet

And bit my tongue when I should have tried it

I burned some bridges just for heat

Then froze inside and blanked the street

I've walked out first so I couldn't get left

I've pushed away the ones who cared best

I've loved like war and prayed like hell

And never once forgave myself

I didn't ask to be this way

Didn't pick these battles I replay

Didn't choose the ghosts that know my name

Or the hands that taught me how to aim

I'm just trying to breathe without the rage

Hold it down and turn the page

But some scars don't ever fade

And I didn't ask to be this way

I've learned to lie just to feel safe

Call it strength but it's really just escape

I've been the villain and the victim too

Depends on who's telling the truth

I wear this face cause I got no choice

But inside it's just a different voice

One that's tired of acting fine

One that's aged ahead of time

I didn't ask to be this way

Didn't write this pain into my DNA

Didn't sign up for the nights I shake

Or the dreams that jolt me wide awake

I try to laugh, I try to pray

But I'm still wired to push away

Don't judge the fight you never face

I didn't ask to be this way

It ain't weakness

It's what surviving looks like

When you're still bleeding

I didn't ask to be this way

But I still show up every day

I still give love with busted hands

Still stand when I don't understand

So don't call me broken, don't call me lost

I'm just someone who paid the cost

And I'm still standing anyway

Even though

I didn't ask to be this way