You're Welcome (Bonus Track)

KURT

Oh no, you can’t just leave.

RAM

Not when you’re dressed like that.

VERONICA

Dressed like what? That is what I always wear.

KURT

Yeah! And it’s torture.

RAM

How can you expect us to control ourselves when you look so hot?

VERONICA

DEAR DIARY:

HERE WE ARE IN THE DARK, FIFTY YARDS FROM MY CAR.

I COULD CLIMB THAT TREE -- (reconsidering) I’LL NEVER GET THAT FAR.

THEY’RE A HUNDRED POUNDS HEAVIER, THEY HAVE MY KEYS.

I’M A RAT IN A TRAP. CORRECTION –

I’M THE CHEESE.

KURT

HEY THERE, GIRL, IGNORE THIS FOOL.

HE TRIES TO PLAY COOL WHILE HE’S DRIBBLIN’ DROOL.

RAM

JUS’ TRYIN’ TO SAY IN OUR FRIENDLY WAY

THAT YOU’VE GOTTEN HOTTER LIKE EVERY DAY.

KURT

OW!!!

RAM

HEY THERE, GIRL, AVOID THIS PUNK.

HE’S HUNGRY FOR A HUNK OF THE JUNK IN YOUR TRUNK.

KURT

THERE IS NO LIE THAT DOG WON’T TRY

WHEN A TASTY TREAT LIKE YOU WALKS BY! CAUSE:

RAM & KURT

ONCE YOU WERE GEEKY AND NERDY.

NOW YOU’RE FLIRTY, FREAKY AND DIRTY.

KURT

YOU WERE NOTHING, AND NOBODY,

RAM

BUT NOW YOU’RE GOOD ENOUGH TO –

RAM & KURT.

GET WITH ME! HUH!

RAM, KURT, CHORUS OF DUDES

YOU’RE WELCOME! LOOK WHERE YOU ARE!

YOU’RE WELCOME! YOU’VE WON THE FOOTBALL STAR!

YOU’RE WELCOME!

RAM

BABY, WHAT’S THAT SMELL?

KURT

THAT’S THE SMELL OF ME LOVING YOU WELL!

RAM, KURT, CHORUS OF DUDES

YOU’RE WELCOME!

VERONICA

THIS IS NOT A DRILL, THIS IS NOT A BAD DREAM.

IN A COW PASTURE, NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM.

NEVER BREAK THEIR STARE, STAY AWAKE, STAY AWARE.

YOU’RE NOT IN REAL DANGER

TILL THEY GRAB YOUR HAI–IIIIAAAAGH!

RAM

COME BACK, GIRL, NOW DON’T PLAY HURT.

IF YOU DON’T WANT ME STARIN’, WHY YOU WEARIN’ THAT SKIRT?

KURT

WE CAN’T BE TAMED AND WE CAN’T BE BLAMED.

IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT THAT WE’RE INFLAMED! CAUSE

RAM & KURT

ONCE YOU WERE GRODY AND GROTTY,

RAM

NOW YOU GOT A BODY LIKE A MASERATI.

RAM & KURT

STROKE MY FUR, MAKE ME PURR.

KURT

HEY, YOU WANTED TO BE

RAM, KURT, CHORUS OF DUDES

POPULAR!

KURT

HIT ME!

RAM

Huh!

RAM, KURT, CHORUS OF DUDES

YOU’RE WELCOME! LOOK WHERE YOU ARE!

YOU’RE WELCOME! COME GET YOUR FOOTBALL STAR!

YOU’RE WELCOME!

RAM

YOU'VE JOINED THE PROS!

KURT

ONE WE SQUEEZE YOU, YOU’LL STAY SQUOZE!

RAM

YOU’RE WELCOME IN MY LAP, WELCOME ON MY KNEE!

KURT

WELL, COME ON AND GET GRABBY IN THE GRASS WITH ME!

VERONICA

I GOT ONE LAST CHANCE TO SAVE MY ASS.

WHAT WAS THAT MOVE FROM SELF-DEFENSE CLASS?

KURT

I’LL STEAL YOUR HEART LIKE A THIEF,

RAM

BRING YOU SWEET RELIEF.

KURT

CALL ME WENDY CAUSE YOU’LL NEVER WONDER

RAM, KURT, CHORUS OF DUDES

“WHERE’S THE BEEF!”

VERONICA

THEY’RE A POWDER KEG, SO DON’T YELL OR BEG.

STAY FRIENDLY, THEN GENTLY,

“ACCIDENTALLY,” SWEEP THE LEG.

RAM

Agh! This mud stinks!

KURT

Ugh, gross!

VERONICA

YOU’RE WELCOME!

KURT

BACK UP, FOOL, YOU REEK!

VERONICA

YOU’RE WELCOME.

KURT

WELL, YOU SMELL LIKE A SEWAGE LEAK!

VERONICA

YOU’RE WELCOME.

KURT

WAIT, DUDE, I’M PRETTY SURE…

THIS AIN’T MUD, IT’S –

KURT & RAM

COW MANURE!

VERONICA, CHORUS OF DUDES

YOU’RE WELCOME!

KURT & RAM

AAGGHHH! MAN, IT’S EVERYWHERE!

VERONICA, CHORUS OF DUDES

YOU’RE WELCOME!

KURT & RAM

OH GOD, IT’S IN MY HAIR!

VERONICA, CHORUS OF DUDES

YOU’RE WEL —

KURT & RAM

HEY, GIRL, LET’S NOT DWELL –

RAM

ON THE SMELL –

KURT

YOU CAN TELL –

KURT, RAM, CHORUS OF DUDES

I CAN STILL BE LOVIN’ YOU WELL!

VERONICA

SWELL.

KURT, CHORUS OF DUDES

NO, I’LL BE LOVIN’ HER WELL!

VERONICA

SEE YOU IN HELL!

RAM, CHORUS OF DUDES

NO, I’LL BE LOVIN’ HER WELL!

KURT, RAM, CHORUS OF DUDES

NO, I’LL BE! I’LL BE! I’LL BE! I'LL BE

LOVIN’ LOVIN’ LOVIN’ LOVIN’ LOVIN’ HER WELL!

VERONICA, RAM, KURT, CHORUS OF DUDES

YOU’RE WELCOME!

YOU’RE WELCOME!

YOU’RE WELCOME!