Lifetime Achievement Award

Would you put a little trophy case in the box when I die

I wanna have my gold records, by my cold rotting side

if there’s a heaven they'll know when I arrive

I was something when I was alive.

Accolade after accolade I really wanna win 'em all

you can feel the notoriety

when you're walkin' through my freakin' hall

the most decorated man you'd ever saw

I got one blank space left on my wall

for the most prestigious of them all.

I was blind

I never knew what I was missin'

my life

is full of shit I shoulda done but didn't

they lied

when they said I would be gittin'

that lifetime achievement award.

Second hand to the minute hand to the hour hand to the day

and fills full of calendars gettin' ready to biodegrade

before I can relocate to san tropez

I need one more for my resume

just to prove it ain't all been a waste.

I was blind

I never knew what I was missin'

my life

is full of shit I shoulda done but didn't

they lied

when they said I would be gittin'

that lifetime achievement award.

I was so young I a'int know I was wrong

wrong about many things

you can put all of it on someone's lawn

sell it sell everything

any thing

every thing

I own.

Would you put a little trophy case in the box when I die

I wanna have a bunch of laminates, by my cold rotting side

and if there’s a heaven they'll know when I arrive

I was distinguished and dignified

I was unlike all those other guys

I was miserable then one day died.

I was blind

I never knew what I was missin'

my life

is full of shit I shoulda done but didn't

they lied

when they said I would be gittin'

that lifetime achievement award.

oh, that lifetime achievement award

oh, that lifetime achievement award

oh that life, life.