Youngest That I'll Ever Be

I’m the youngest that I’ll ever be

And the thought of that will always freak me out

Such a far cry away from seventeen

That girl I knew got lost somewhere, somehow

I'm on my third reincarnation

Expectations really beat me down

Will anyone who listened then

Still give a damn and listen to me now?

I’ve smashed every mirror that I’ve got

I’ll take the twenty years bad luck

I’ve pushed and pulled my stomach down

Like losing weight would sort me out

I’ve dyed my hair then cut it off

I’ve played the popstar that I’m not

I’ve tried hard not to hate myself

Some things in life you just can’t help

I struggle with self confidence

Am I still fucking relevant?

The years are rushing me away

'Cause youth will triumph over grace

I’ve loved and lost, then lost my mind

I tell myself, I'm out of time

I’m scared I’ve crossed the finish line

Now, I'm on the wrong side of twenty five

Back living with my mum and dad

The world has put me on my ass again

And this might be a little much

But I've not had sex for eighteen months, God damn

I’ve smoked just enough to choke my lungs

My voice ain’t quite what it once was

I’ve cried under the fireworks

When New Year’s took my new found love

I’ve given my friend’s therapy

Ironic, 'cause I've never been

And God knows that I probably should

If I wasn’t broke, I probably would

And dating is a mystery

I wish someone would solve for me

I curse these boys and blame it on them

Fucked if really I’m the problem

Is it time to face the music?

Thirty hits and then you lose it

Scared I’ve crossed the finish line

Now, I'm on the wrong side of twenty five