This Is The Hardest Thing I've Ever Done

I'm goin in circles

I'm running out of sanity

Tryna lose a feelin and im terrified it won't ever leave

Becoming nocturnal

So I don't see you in my dreams

Doin everything I can to find myself just a little peace yeah

I got a therapist but it don't help no

I still choose hell over choosing myself (whoa)

I'm way too god damn self aware

It honestly just isn't fair

It isn't fair

I know what I'm doin

Even though you blew it

I put myself through it

Guess I don't know what is good for me

Yeah I know what I'm doin

Even though you don't care what you're losin

I put myself through it

Guess I don't know what is good for me

I'm scared to put myself out there

Knowin that you're out there too

And I feel like a fuckin loser usin that as an excuse

Can't even talk about it with my friends no

They're so past wishin that this shit would end whoa

How are you the one that messed it up but I'm the one who's feelin like a burden??

Cuz I know what I'm doin

Even though you blew it

I put myself through it

Guess I don't know what is good for me

Yeah I know what I'm doin

Even though you don't care what you're losin

I put myself through it

Guess I don't know what is good for me

Run into you after dark press your heart up to my heart and you hug me like im some salvation

Feels good but it isn't smart how'd you master all the parts of the art of manipulation

I've never had to get over someone who pulls me closer the further away he gets from love

It isn't pretty isn't simple isn't easy isn't fun

This is the hardest thing I've ever done