Swingin' Low

I got a massive flaccid wiener, draggin' on the ground

Slappin' my thighs with a thunderous sound

When it's hangin' loose, it's a sight to see

Swingin' like a branch from a big ol' tree

I stood in the mirror, hit it with some welly

Watched it jiggle like a wet piece of jelly

My wife walked in, and she damn near died

Said, honey, what's happened to your unerect pride

I swung my massive flaccid wiener, right over my shoulder

It fell between my cheeks, made a great meat holder

It's like a warm baguette but way too limp

Swingin' so low it makes me walk like a gimp

I trip on it daily, but I'm still standing tall

This floppy ol' beast never lets me fall

It's too damn big for boxers or briefs

And when I run, it's like swingin' a beef

I tried to tuck it in, but it fought right back

Now it's chillin' on my leg like a lazy wet sack

My wife just stares, says, Is it alive

I said, Not today, but it sure likes to thrive

She says, Why's it so soft? Does it ever get hard

I said, Baby, it's a masterpiece, don't you discard

I got a big ol' floppy wiener, right over my shoulder

It fell between my cheeks, made a great meat holder

It's like a warm baguette but way too limp

Swingin' so low it makes me walk like a gimp

I trip on it daily, but I'm still standing tall

This floppy ol' beast never lets me fall