I Want to Be Straight

(spoken introductions)

I'm Charley, you know

I'm Norman pleased to meet you

I'm Mickey, hello

Wilko

I'm Johnny, how are you doing Harry?

My name is David

And I'm Ian' and ' guess what?

Oi!

I want to be straight, I want to be straight

I'm sick and tired of taking drugs and staying up late

I wanna confirm, I wanna conform

I wanna be safe and I wanna be snug and I wanna be warm

I want to be straight, I want to be straight

I wanna create a place of my own in the welfare state

Brr, gonna be good, brr, gonna be kind

It might be a wrench but think of the stench I'm leaving behind

I want to be straight, I want to be straight

Come out of the cold and do what I'm told and don't deviate

I wanna give, I wanna give, I wanna give my consent

I'm learning to hate all the things that were great when I used to be' bent!

Could be not straightness

Dum dum dilley

Might lead to greatness

Dur yuh dum der

Owing to lateness

My chance has only just arrived, ha

Ow! Straight, straight, straight, straight

Straight, straight, straight, straight

Straight, straight, straight, straight, straight

I want to be straight, I want to be straight

I'm sick and tired of taking drugs and staying up late

I know that you're right, I know I was wrong

So thanks very much, please keep in touch, I'll be rhyming along

I want to be straight

I want to be straight

I want to be straight

I want to be straight

I want to be straight

I want to be straight...