John Backflip vs. William Frontflip

have you ever had a dream of a giant scorpion with eggs for knees i haven't but i have a feeling that that would be quite an awesome dream i've been standing in my kitchen for 45 minutes but no matter what i find it always comes back to tortilla chips fucking tortilla chips why must it always be them (they always cut my mouth) water is a thirst quencher that helps you when you're thirsty and sometimes the saltiness of tortilla chips goes hard with water someone i used to know thinks it's odd that i drink water when i have something sweet i'm not a health person or anything i just feel like it makes my throat hurt less one time i went to a whataburger and i got a bacterial infection from sweet tea now i will only get tea if it's the fuze raspberry one, but i can't find it often sometimes lava lamp bulbs go out, and then you replace the bulb the bulb heats up and makes the lava lamp do that lampy thing if it's on for a prolonged period of time it can cause damage i don't recommend leaving it on for more than 8-ish hours one time i left a lava lamp on for a week straight when i was eight or nine, and that shit exploded don't you heffle me, this ain't greg or rodrick and you better not talk shit unless that diper's loded retail therapy got me fucked up trying to finance my 11th guitar from zzounds show me the way to the bathroom because i just had 4 gatorlytes and it's gonna drown descend to the bottom floor of the mall and then ask your friends to throw food from the food court don't ask me if i'm a man or a mouse, because the real question's what do you want from ihop charlie, if you wanted chips, you should have gotten some from the hamburger shop i'm not made of bees, i'm not made of cheese but i know how to make a creme brulee with ease it's times like these when i try to remember what my grandfather said "don't run for a bus, especially one that's up a 90-degree angle"