Santa Stan (Stan Arabic Parody)

Dear Santa habibi, i asked for lambo but I still didn’t get one,

I put my tree up, and put milk and cookies at the bottom

I wrote you three times but it seems like you might have forgotten

 still waiting for you to bring me those limited edition jordans

I’ve been a good boy, just to make sure im on your list.

But I got nothing yet, it’s like you don’t even exist.

But I know you do because I saw you at the 7/11

My wives are jealous cus I talk about you 24/7

But they don’t know you like I know you Santa, you’re the best.

I even got a tattoo of your name across my chest.

But tattoos are haram so instead I used a marker / sharpie

Waiting for the day for you to deliver me that car key —

But I’m not pissed, I just think you’re busy with other kids

I get jealous when I see you give their mommy a little kiss.

I just wanted to write you this song,

So you can prove me wrong,

So bring my gifts, don’t be rude

To my dude

Yours Mahmoud.

My chai’s gone cold im wondering why, I wait for you at all.

I’m sitting by my window thinking, if you exist or not

And even if you don’t I won’t be sad, still got my hummus in the pot

And that reminds me, that it’s not so bad it’s not so bad.