Disco Ball

WHY ARE YOU SO SCARED TO SHOW ME, TO SHOW ANYONE, WHO YOU ARE WHEN YOU’RE NOT PUTTING ON A FUCKING SHOW?

Oh Nancy, darling, baby!

Ain’t it obvious?

I mean, you already said it, kid!

It’s because I’m like a

Disco ball

Yeah, I’m a disco ball

I spin and give you all a party feeling

I’m sparkly and I’m fun,

And crucially I’m hung… from the ceiling

You’re far away from me

If you weren’t, well it would be

Such a pity

Cos when people get too close

Oof, baby, heaven knows

Well, it ain’t pretty

So I

Never let ‘em get too close

Never let ‘em stay too long

Or see me in the light

(The cold harsh light)

Gotta keep it all going

Gotta keep ‘em from knowing

What’s inside

So I spin

And I spin

And I spin

Dazzling like I’m a

Disco ball

And I stay

Far away

Up above

And you love it, I’m a

Disco ball

If I slowed,

Let you close,

You would notice

I’m nothing like you thought I was at all

But no one notices

(No!)

Cos everybody’s dancing round the

Disco ball

Watch me spin spin spin spin spin spin spin like I’m a

Disco ball

Watch me spin spin spin spin spin spin spin like I’m a

Disco ball

Yeah, I learned long ago

If I don’t put on a show,

Don’t keep that distance

(Nuh-oh)

People can, ya know:

“Disappointment!”

“Fag!”

“Homo!”

Just for instance

When I have let people in

There’s tended to have been

A bit of blowback

(Uh-oh)

Like:

“We can fuck, but I’m not gay”

“I wish you’d dress a different way!”

Ugh, such a throwback!

But - if I keep it all going

(Go)

If I keep it all glowing

(Glow)

It’s great for you and I

(For everyone)

Cos I never gotta show you

It really isn’t all

“Ooh ooh!”

Inside

So I spin

And I spin

And I spin

Dazzling like I’m a

Disco ball

So the me

That you see

Isn’t real?

No big deal - you love a

Disco ball

Cos when I spin spin spin in the glow

No one ever sees the cracks at all

No one notices

(No!)

Cos everybody’s dancing round the

Disco ball

Watch me spin spin spin spin spin spin spin like I’m a

Disco ball

Watch me spin spin spin spin spin spin spin like I’m a

Disco ball

Hey, is this thing on?

How’s it going, folks!

Thank you so much for coming out! …Ooh, if I had a penny for every time I heard that when I was fourteen…. I’d have no pennies!

So I’ve got this friend, let’s call her Nancy…cos that’s her name - and she’s all “why you gotta put on a show all the time? Maybe, you should be more vulnerable!” Well, kid, it ain’t gonna happen!

Cos when you grow up in - what’s it called? - oh, the world in which we live (you know, where you call each other gay in the playground and you don’t even know what it means but you just know it’s the WORST POSSIBLE INSULT? And every time you pop on the telly there’s a comedy where someone’s throwing up cos they didn’t realise the woman they were kissing is trans?), well, when you grow up in that world, you’re gonna kinda have it instilled into ya that queerness is about as embarrassing, disgusting, unnatural, immoral, and wrong as pineapple on a pizza!!!

And then if - one day, uh oh - you slowly start to suspect that that IS what you are, unchangeably, at your core —----- welllllll, you’re gonna learn to apply all those pesky little words... anyone?

(Embarrassing! Disgusting! Unnatural! Immoral Wrong!)

You’re gonna learn to apply them all to yourself, baby! And that is all before you give anyone else the chance!!

But it’s all good! It’s all groovy!! Cos you can just turn yourself into a little disco ball, baby! Cos, sure, no one wants to see the broken ugly pieces of a disco ball up close, but they don’t mind ‘em so much when they’re making the room sparkle!

So who cares why those guys would not be seen with me

Why noone wants the authentic me

Why those strangers threw that shit at me

Why the words hurt but deep down I don’t disagree

Why everyone I’ve loved’s ashamed of me

Why my parents wouldn’t look at me

Why it’s only dark inside of me

When I can disco ball it all away?

So I spin

And I twirl

To the world

All I am is a

Disco ball

So I’m fractured

And cracked?

That’s exactly

What attracts you to a

Disco ball

And though it’s fake

And the toll

That it takes

Kinda makes me think it’s not sustainable

It’s alright

Cos at least

For the night

They’ll keep dancing round the

Disco ball

So come on!

Here I am!

Come on, who’s gonna use me like a

Disco ball?

You can’t love

Me for me?

That’s okay!

You can love me like a

Disco ball!

And though I’m

Hanging on

By a thread

And any minute there’s a risk I’ll fall

Got no choice

Cos I know

I’m so much better off if I’m a

Disco ball

Hey someone

Prove me wrong?

How ‘bout you?

Say you wouldn’t choose the

Disco ball

Who’d prefer

All of this

Ugliness

To the “party woo-hoo”

Disco ball?

Not me!

That’s for sure!

You think you’re

Not a fan?

I’m really not a fan at all!!!!

So come on!

(Let’s go!)

Yes, everybody, dance around the

Disco ball!

Watch me spin spin spin spin spin spin spin like I’m a

Disco ball

Watch me spin spin spin spin spin like a stupid fucking

Disco ball

Watch me spin spin spin spin spin spin spin spin spin spin spin spin spin spin spin spin spin spin spin spin SPIN SPIN SPIN LIKE A

DISCO BALL!!!!!!!!!!!!