Carry Me

Honestly, I thought I was doing better than I was

What you call drugs, that's just medicine to us

Understand my addictions, so I can never hit you up

Every day I'm conflicted, if I could ever give this up

My hair falling out

I'm losing all my teeth

Started sleeping on the streets, that's what I did to me

A life of unemployment, you think that I enjoy this

It feels like I don't make my decision, it makes me

A stupid little mistake, I made at 13

With my best friends, and they ain't even hurting

They got me on this shit, and this the life that they got

A family with they own spot, while I'm left to rot

I always thought about my life, if I had a father

I just know in life, one day I would've gotten farther

A single mother, with three jobs, and three kids

It was easy for me to get away with all the things I did

But I can't blame anybody, cause damn, look at y'all

I got all these sisters, that I can't even call

Every time I hit the ground, you catch me when I fall

So it's hard to come around, I hide my face from all the shame

But I think about the days, when I fought to stay sober

I was so happy to see y'all really coming over

I even got a framed diploma for my sobriety

Then they baptized my body in the ocean entirely

And if a day comes where you can never find me

My words gon' carry me My words gon' carry me

My words gon' carry me My words gon' carry me

My words gon' carry me My words gon' carry me

My words gon' carry me

As your mother fix your lips and think twice

I never left you in your life so I don't need your advice

On kindness, everyday I'm reminded

I'm a great mother and I would never treat my kids like mine did

That should always be enough

Complaining like you never had enough I never felt enough

It's hard to get this off my chest

To express to my children

That the world gave me less

Or maybe due to my decisions

My men on how I picked them

Left my heart and back with too many incisions

Every cut was the finest precision

That's how I knew their intentions

Was to never show me love

It's a cycle, hell if I know

If I could ever switch it up

Learn to love myself

Everything I want to be in life

Now dust on some shelves

But shit, at least I got my health If nothing else

I'm too old to even change and change for what

Every time y'all hit the ground don't miss a day, I pick you up

Nevermind it, that's my job and your fathers have one too

So why you mad at me

When they haven't done half the shit I do

I'm not changing this is me like it, I love it

You finally gave me a granddaughter I'm changing, I love it

She's talking and I listen She doesn't like it then I fix it

Being a grandma's intuition

Something you gon' have to live with

But my love for you is not missing

Ginger's daughters

I never wanted you to ever feel insignificant

And if a day comes where you can never find me

My words gon' carry me My words gon' carry me

My words gon' carry me My words gon' carry me

My words gon' carry me My words gon' carry me

My words gon' carry me

Just know I never felt disappointed in any of your actions

I was only asking if you could learn to change your ways

I often think about the day I'll get a call that you deceased

That's became my biggest fears

It's been more than five years

You've been living on the streets

I wanna help you out so bad

But I know your addiction's bigger than me

I think about the simpler things, the big three

Some nights I can't even go to sleep

My tears can create a new sea

Am I wrong to even ask God to call you back home

I hate the thought that you're living life every day alone

And then you carry yourself as if nothing's even wrong

It gets me pissed I admit some days

I dismiss you

But ain't a day that goes by

My big sis

I just miss you

Softball games, spending days at the beach

Our household was great, ma

Because you made those ends meet

We ain't saying there's a lack of devotion

We only notice often times

There wasn't much emotion

To take the time to hear where we coming from

But you was working night till the sun is up

I can only imagine the stress

I don't even have kids now

And I feel like my life is a mess

But now I'm betting on me

They think I'm gifted

And if my words bring interest

Six figures to get my sister clean

And everything you need

So you don't have to be in situations

Where you've been trapped in since a kid

I've been tapped in since a kid

And if a day comes where you could never find me

My words gon' carry me My words gon' carry me

My words gon' carry me My words gon' carry me

My words gon' carry me My words gon' carry me

My words gon' carry me