Bite Through My Tongue

Another year around the sun in search of

Anything to pacify the numbing belief

Irrespective of how our time was spent

But what solace we were graced, my friend

It all amounted to nothing in the end

You always watched me as I'd ideate

Diazepam and dulling ache

Open-eyed, I'd stare at the mirror

Drive my teeth straight through my tongue

It's so stupefying knowing that one day your life

Would be forgotten and

In the spaces between my discomfort and grief

I had nothing to offer to help you to sleep

No question ever conjured up enough

Detail to reconstruct

The trust that you felt I had broken

Shallow cuts for doubt to soak in

(Now I don't think of you in apathy)

You'd always watch me as I'd ideate (now I don't think of you in apathy)

(Now I don't think of you in apathy)

Diazepam and dulling ache (now I don't think of you in apathy)

Open-eyed, I'd stare at the mirror

Drive my teeth straight through my tongue

It's so stupefying knowing that one day your life

Would be forgotten and

I can't help but feel like I'm to blame

But if it hurt that much, then why did you stay?

In the spaces between my discomfort and grief

I had nothing to offer to help your sleep

Surrender to pain, still scarred at the wrist

An apostle for validation

Yarn for the tapestry, woven in anger

Rage for the sake of it, stuck on repeat

No heaven ever equal to your skin but

No hell like the wrath that lay beneath

Open-eyed, I'd stare at the mirror

Drive my teeth straight through my tongue

It's so stupefying knowing that one day your life

Would be forgotten

(If it hurt so much, then why did you stay?)

(Well, if it hurt so much, then why did you stay?)