Alcoholic

(Hi, everybody)

(Welcome to the Wednesday meeting, yep yep)

(Um everybody give it up for Eli, first of all)

(He's been off the meth for a whole month now)

(And his wife's getting out of jail next Thursday)

(Is that right?)

(Anyway we've got a new speaker today)

(So big round of applause for this young man here)

Is this thing on?

It's been about a week now

And I'm starting to get weak now

I wake up at 11:30

That's when I start getting thirsty

And I don't know what it is

All I know there's a bottle in the fridge

With my name on it

If I want it

'Cause I'm an alcoholic and I know

Yeah, hi my name is Tom, I'm an addict

Can't really remember just how long I been at it

I'm guessing that this happened like a pattern that I follow

'Cause my father's a fiend

And so was mom

So its something like part of my genes

But it's hard to get clean

But as hard as its been

At the end of it I really can only answer to me

And it's the way it is

I truly learned that

So don't give me all that "Channeling the universe" Crap

Thats a load of shit

And I ain't tryna to pass the blame

Like it's just a part of fate

And I ain't got a part to play

'Cause if that's the case then I really can't escape

Might as well just start the day with a glass of chardonnay

Like my dad does

Thinking that time can never catch us

Following my nose kinda like my bro Haz does

But I'm scared I'll end up in a home like Daz was

That dude went mad once

But nah, fuck that buzz

I'm looking for a little more

But shit is raw

Cause its just a little short walk to the liquor store

A little more to middlemore

My mind keeps saying "This is what I'm living for"

But my liver isn't sure

It's 6 in the morning they're about to close the club

But we know the owner so we're there until they open up

And that's why I'm broke as fuck bank account Golden Duck

Blowing bucks on these drugs going nuts tryna sober up

I woke up Friday morning

Lying on the floor in a one man cell

He said I punched that Cunt-stable

How many lies can one man tell

And now I'm on probation

They got me at rehabilitation

Asking for some explanation

I said "I just like getting wasted"

So don't ask why I'm stoned

And look lady, I don't know

Sign my forms so I can go

Cause I got court at 9 tomorrow

And if the judge is a bitch

I could even jump off a bridge

Or go get on it

'Cause I'm an alcoholic and I know

I fucking hate this place

Fucking hate this place

More than fucking ace of bass

Fuck what this lady says

I bet she's smoked more smack than I've ever drank beer

And then she asks me if I been high this week

"Fuck yeah"

I've been high like a pilot

Why try to deny it

I won't lie I've been wired

Popping E like vitamin C

You wanna read my mind like a psychic

You really wanna know why I get high

'Cause I like it

Does it really take a fucking Einstein to figure that out?

How much more shit can you spit out your fat mouth?

Who would have known you'd get addicted to crack?

(Wow)

What a fucking breakthrough

Everybody clap now

Just give it up for Jack for giving up the crack

It's been a whole week since he had a huff and snap

Rolled his dead ex-wife in some bubble wrap

Filled a duffel bag with all her husband's stuff and gapped,yeah

It's been a month and they got nothing back

Just a lecture from some alchie in a trucker cap

Tryna to tell me how to me live my life

Bro cut the crap

Sobriety?

What the fuck is that?

Can't even spell it bro

I fucking hate this place like the fucking Ellen show

Straight up

I fucking hate this place like fucking Baby Face and Eric Clapton

Nah, fuck this shit I ain't even finished this shit

I won't go and get stoned with some hippie bitch with ankle bracelets

Paint your toe nails, bitch