Entry#149

Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah Okay, yeah Uh It's been one hundred forty-nine days I've thought about you in two hundred forty-nine ways I guess it's just the dirty tricks my lil' mind plays I kept the last fight just to 'member how my heart ache I guess it's easier to hate you than to date you I wish it easier to hate and then erase you And I got exes that's gon' wish this song about them Same way I listen to your songs to see if I fit And after showin' who you are, I still had stayed for you Deep down, I know if you came back, my feelings changed for you And lookin' back on aftermath, I should give thanks to you And I don't wan' know how you doin', still, I pray for you Truly yours and love foolish, Cyn I'm gettin' beat up tryna fight back tears I'm gettin' beat up tryna fight back tears I'm gettin' beat up tryna fight back tears I'm gettin' beat up I'm gettin' beat up tryna fight back tears I'm gettin' beat up tryna fight back tears I'm gettin' beat up tryna fight back tears I'm gettin' beat up It's been ten thousand forty-nine days They say with time the pain fades, but the love stays I'm reminiscin' on when I was in a love daze When I thought searchin', fittin', moldin' was the love stage Shit, back when I ain't love myself more than my things I've thought about this in like way too many damn ways Okay, so look, see? Nothin' on this here planet is mine We just experience what's threaded by the higher design I'm outta my mind, I'm outta control And that's okay, I've learned to let go I'm grateful and lovin' and lettin' it show And only Heaven could've sent what I've gotten to know Remember being young and plannin'? We just wanna be grown To build up the fort and settle the home The feelin' of full and holy and whole Of body and soul, a legacy told And even sat out on that porch, we could never be old I pray you made it and I want you know, truly yours and still foolish I'm gettin' beat up tryna fight back tears I'm gettin' beat up tryna fight back tears I'm gettin' beat up tryna fight back tears I'm gettin' beat up I'm gettin' beat up tryna fight back tears I'm gettin' beat up tryna fight back tears I'm gettin' beat up tryna fight back tears I'm gettin' beat up