Good job it's not a competition, mate
Because I swear down you'd fucking lose it
I got a letter with a fine, for going in the bus lane
But I don't drive
I've got choccy in my pocket
I've got bits
Len Goodman's dead
I'm having a party and you're not invited
I'm building a castle and you're not getting in
It's a motte-and-bailey, Tess Daly, (Can I have some crisps?)
Twice daily
Why isn't everyone on Earth like me?
(Can I have some crisps?)
It smells like poo in here
Everyone's dressеd like Doctor fucking Who in here
Why's hе got a bookbag?
It's a good job it's not a competition, mate
Because I swear down you'd fucking lose it
I get busy drinking fizzy drinks, I fucking love it
Black gold, rot my teeth
Don't care, I'll fucking gum it
Cos I'm the kind of guy who sees a lucky dip
You see a construction skip
Jumble selling wares to the enemy
Storage at capacity, unlimited activity
There's nothing you can offer, cos I'm a chillaholic
Head back, bric-a-brac, waiting for that trickle trickle
White goods, full slack, yeah
I know definitions endlessly, rotten positivity
I don't read, anything I need is on the telly
Charge you six pound for a handshake
Make sure you wash it, I don't know who wipes his bum
I never asked him
I'm the kind of guy who goes on second sitting
Whip off the belt, I sit down eat my dinner
Don't complain about it, only eat sugar on the weekends
Where'd you get your white goods? Facebook Market
It's out of control, I'm in control, I've got six pounds
All in change, just give me that handshake, oh
You're not the enemy, you're somewhere in between
A childhood dream and a pyramid scheme
I'm thick as shit, I'm not, but I look it
I've got apps, I've got a phone and I know how to use it
I've got audiobooks
I've got audiobooks
I've got audiobooks
I've got audiobooks
It goes w w w dot make it stop shit shop dot com
Oh, past the interview
What's the mood? Bad
What's the attitude? Bad
Where's the good news? Forty minutes sitting in the bathroom
Sugar free beans, put my own sugar in it
Window up, hot car, fucking dog trapped in it
Chucking bin bags out from the first floor window
'Cause I can't be bothered
Can I have some crisps?
I can't be bothered
Can I have some crisps?
Can I have some crisps? (Twice daily)
Can I have some crisps?
I've got choccy in my pocket (Can I have some crisps?)
I've got bits
I've got choccy in my pocket (Can I have some crisps?)
I've got bits
I've got choccy in my pocket (Can I have some crisps?)
I've got bits
I've got choccy in my pocket (Can I have some crisps?)
I've got bits
