Alma - Tom Lehrer: Song Lyrics, Music Videos & Concerts

Alma

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Alma was released on January 1, 1965 by Needlejuice Records as a part of the album That Was the Year That Was

Song Details

AlbumThat Was the Year That Was

Release DateJanuary 1, 1965

LabelNeedlejuice Records

LanguageEnglish

Melodicness

Acousticness

Valence

Danceability

Energy

OVERVIEW

LYRICS

Credits

PERFORMING ARTISTS

Piano

COMPOSITION & LYRICS

Songwriter

PRODUCTION & ENGINEERING

Don Geis

Engineer

Jimmy Hilliard

Producer

Lyrics

[Verse 1]

Last December thirteenth

There appeared in the newspapers

The juiciest, spiciest, raciest obituary

It has ever been my pleasure to read

It was that of a lady name Alma Mahler Gropius Werfel

Who had in her lifetime managed

To acquire as lovers practically all

Of the top creative men in Central Europe

And among these lovers

Who were listed in the obituary, by the way

Which is what made it so interesting

There were three whom she went so far as to marry

One of the leading composers of the day, Gustav Mahler

Composer of Das Lied von der Erde

And other light classics

One of the leading architects, Walter Gropius

Of the Bauhaus school of design

And one of the leading writers, Franz Werfel

Author of The Song of Bernadette

And other masterpieces

It's, it's people like that who make you realize

How little you've accomplished

It is a sobering thought, for example

That when Mozart was my age

He had been dead for two years

It seemed to me, on reading this obituary

That the story of Alma was the stuff

Of which ballads should be made

So here is one

[Verse 2]

The loveliest girl in Vienna

Was Alma – the smartest as well

Once you picked her up on your antenna

You'd never be free of her spell

[Verse 3]

Her lovers were many and varied

From the day she Began her Beguine

There were three famous ones whom she married

And God knows how many between

[Verse 4]

Alma, tell us

All modern women are jealous

Which of your magical wands

Got you Gustav and Walter and Franz

[Verse 5]

The first one she married was Mahler

Whose buddies all knew him as Gustav

And each time he saw her he'd holler

"Ach that is the Fräulein I must have!"

[Verse 6]

Their marriage, however, was murder

He'd scream to the heavens above

I'm writing Das Lied von der Erde

And she only wants to make love

[Verse 7]

Alma, tell us

All modern women are jealous

You should have a statue in bronze

For bagging Gustav and Walter and Franz

[Verse 8]

While married to Gus, she met Gropius

And soon she was swinging with Walter

Gus died, and her teardrops were copious

She cried all the way to the altar

[Verse 9]

But he would work late at the Bauhaus

And only came home now and then

She said, "What am I running, a chow house?

It's time to change partners again"

[Verse 10]

Alma, tell us

All modern women are jealous

Though you didn't even use Pond's

You got Gustav and Walter and Franz

[Verse 11]

While married to Walt, she'd met Werfel

And he too was caught in her net

He married her, but he was careful

'Cause Alma was no Bernadette

[Verse 12]

And that is the story of Alma

Who knew how to receive and to give

The body that reached her embalmer

Was one that had known how to live

[Verse 13]

Alma, tell us

How can they help being jealous?

Ducks always envy the swans

Who get Gustav and Walter

You never did falter

With Gustav and Walter and Franz

[Verse 14]

I know some people feel

That marriage, as an institution

Is dying out

But I disagree

And the point was driven home to me

Rather forcefully, not long ago

By a letter I received, which said

"Darling, I love you, and I cannot live without you

Marry me, or I will kill myself"

Well, I was a little disturbed at that

Until I took another look at the envelope

And saw that it was addressed to "Occupant"

Speaking of love, one problem

That recurs more and more frequently, these days

In books and plays and movies

Is the inability of people to communicate

With the people they love

Husbands and wives who can't communicate

Children who can't communicate with their parents

And so on

And the characters in these books and plays

And so on, and in real life, I might add

Spend hours bemoaning the fact

That they can't communicate

I feel that if a person can't communicate

The very least he can do is to shut up

Written by: Tom Lehrer

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