Close to God

every stone i throw don’t reach the pond

i dont see no luck in my race to god

the storm always comes when the rivers get calm

endurance is thing that u don’t get taught

& loyalty is a thing that just can’t be bought

if i fail on my homies just let me rot

above anyone is something that i am not

but life is war & just know i that i fought

spent my last buck it went all on black

but the whole nights red & i can’t call no cabs

casino in kentucky i’m way off the map

i left LA & i’m not coming back

my family drops tears & i do the same to

who the fuck do i pray for if it ain’t u?

who the fuck do u pray for if it ain’t me?

& if u do tell the lord it’s my soul he can keep

Aint got no closed palm

i’m aint writing no psalms

preacher says i’m so wrong

i’m getting close to god

my hands are idle

the bottle is my bible

living with my eyes closed

i’m getting close to god

let me perish if this verse don’t stand true to my life

i’ve seen my dad on the needle & i’ve seen him on the pipe

i’ve seen my mom lock herself in her room & wanna die

i’ve my sister not eat a thing for months & just cry

i’ve seen what suicide does to a family

i’ve seen my grandma outlive her sons danny,

vince, bob, mike, & fred

please tell me how it’s fair that she’s dying in her bed

all alone, barely talks can’t even use phone

hope she knows in her thoughts that the otherside is home

more beautiful than this life ever could be

let all your angels take u up there delicately

& i’m fine don’t u dare ever go & worry about me

u made me stronger than i ever i’d possibly be

it wasn’t church or a book that brought my faith to this spot

as your soul leaves your body i feel closer to god

Aint got no closed palm

i’m aint writing no psalms

preacher says i’m so wrong

i’m getting close to god

my hands are idle

the bottle is my bible

living with my eyes closed

i’m getting close to god