Deny

I can deny myself

I can't live in your world otherwise

If I defy myself enough

I bury more than I ever realize

I can deny myself

I can't look in the mirror otherwise

Because if I see too deep inside

It hurts too much to fantasize

I was pushed against a wall I couldn't break

Force my body into place, the only image that felt safe

I was pushed against a path I couldn't take

But I can almost find a way when I get on my knees to pray

I can deny myself

I can't live in your world otherwise

If I defy myself enough

I bury more than I ever realize

I was pushed against a wall I couldn't break

Force my body into place, the only image that felt safe

I was pushed against a path I couldn't take

But I can almost find a way when I get on my knees to pray

Now I am wrapped up in a love I cannot shake

And it feels just like a dream, I'd rather die than be awake

But if I focus on an outcome beside the grave

Could the fear just drift away? Could I be convinced to stay?