Great American Bitch

I'm a great American bitch

I refuse to wear corsets and lace

I earn my own wages

And burst into rages

When men say "Know your place"

My boss tried to fondle me under my skirt

I kicked him like this in the crotch

Where it hurt

I got fired

But hey

I'd rather be right than rich

'Cause I'm a great American bitch (she's a -, she's a great American bitch)

I'm a -, I'm a (she's a -, she's a)

Great American bitch

I'm a great American bitch (queen bitch)

I seduce whoever I please (very jealous!)

I fornicate freely

And some say I really bring gentlemen to their knees

I proposed to a Dutchman

We're wedded in bliss

'Cause he doesn't mind who else I might kiss

Though most of the time I prefer to scratch my own itch

'Cause I'm a great American bitch (she's a -, she's a great American bitch)

I'm a -, I'm a (she's a -, she's a)

Great American bitch!

Lucy, your turn

Lucy, go! (Come on, Lucy)

I'm a great American

I'm sorry, honestly I just don't love that word

(We'll do it together, come on!)

You're a great American bitch (well, thanks)

I've known it since sophomore year (not this story!)

When Professor McMaller said "Only male scholars

Could manage a doctor's career" (boo, professor)

He drove this expensive new Ford Model T

So I scratched it all over with my bedroom key

But Lucy went further (I may have pushed his car into a ditch)

Why?

('Cause I'm a great American)

She's a -, she's a great American bitch

I'm a -, I'm a (she's a -, she's a)

Great American bitch

Drink if they've called you a nag

Drink if they've called you a slut (or a shrew)

Drink if they've called you a crazy hag

Drink if the rumors are true

I'm a great American bitch (yes, you are!)

Once, I cut my own hair (doesn't count)

And one time I took out a library book and never returned it

I swear (oh, you're bad)

Lady, thy bitchhood hath only begun

We'll train you (ordain you)

Thank God (better run!)

Here's to our coven and long may we love to bewitch

To the great American bitch!

You're a -, you're a great American bitch

You're a -, you're a great American bitch

You're a -, you're a great hysterical

Arrogant, lecherous, treacherous U.S.A. bitch

(You're a -, you're a) bitch

(You're a -, you're a) bitch

(You're a -, you're a bitch!)