Hayashi

Each day i die a thousand deaths

A colony of lifelessness

Washed away into heaven

Laying here on sweet satin

Dragging me to sleep

Years months days repeat

Emptiness is left

as i undress

I don't know if i care to make it

Out of this alive but i can fake it

 

On and on and on Im falling

Deeper into melancholy

I dont know if i care to face it

All pretty lies but i still chase it

On and on and on I’m falling

Deeper into melancholy

I put myself to bed and let

My hallow self fill up with dread

Am i better off without sleep

am i better off without me

What’s the point if i cant dream

Anxiety is slowly blinding (anxiety, it slowly blinds me)

Driftless glen puts me to rest*

He numbs the pain and fuels the pen

(He numbs the pain again and again)

I’m Holding on to let go

Get well for the gallows

One more pill to swallow

So shove it down my throat

and that’s on mental illness love

please just make it stop!

I had it in my hand

What I would not give to understand

But I’ll let this go

I’d rather keep god laughing though I’m damned