My Own Company

Of my few real relationships

Ours is by far most complex

I know what you're thinking, sometimes I know what you'll say next

But I don't understand why you do what you do

No it aint lack of my trying to

When someone who wants to be loved,

Won't let anyone

But im in it for life

Whatever that looks like

Won't you forgive me

Cause I can't keep living in this dim light

I know I didn't turn out to be the girl of your dreams

And lately its harder to keep

My own company

I look in the mirror and tell you things you don't believe

As if the mantras could drown these insecurities

Too late for babies and 401ks and too young to be in so much damn pain

But I'm in it for life

Whatever that looks like

And I can't forgive me

Cause I'm too damn busy most of the time

I know I didn't turn out to be the girl of your dreams

And its getting harder to keep

My own company

I could start drinking again

Go on a bender

Throw myself into the Cumberland

but I'm in it for life

Whatever that looks like

I've gotta forgive me

If I've got it in me

somewhere inside

Cause maybe I could still turn out to be

The girl of my dreams

And find that all I want to keep

Is my own company