Don't Touch My Clogs

Years before I was born father told this to me

It was one Christmas morning in '73

There was one lonely gift nestled under the tree

My grandfather said, "Don't touch my-"

He said, "Boy, listen close, I am saying this once

These were worn by my parents and their parent's parents

Now they're yours, but be sure to guard them with your life."

He said, "Don't ever let them touch my clogs!"

You can take my cash, you can burn my house

You could force feed trash

I'd let you kick my balls while I chewed on glass

Before I even thought about letting someone touch my clogs

You'll have to take my life, you'll have to steal my dog

Have to beat my wife

You'll have to kill my mom with a rusty knife

You'll have to break my legs before I ever let you touch my clogs

Don't touch my

C-L-O-G-S

They're my clogs!

Whoa, oh!

Father said "You're my son, so I'll tell you the truth

I wore clogs without socks for the bulk of my youth

Now these clogs, they are yours, protect them with your life

I pray you never let them touch your clogs!"

You can slap my wrist, I'd let you shave my head

Let you wax my pits

I'd even butt-chug bleach while you twist my nips

And after all of that I still wouldn't let you touch my clogs

You can eat my lunch and you can knock me out

With a 1-inch punch

And make me drink your sweat from a dirty sponge

You'd have to shoot me dead before I ever let you touch my clogs

Is my purpose in life to keep them safe until my child is at least 25?

Then I will pass the clogs to them and they'll wear them with pride

And every single day from then, they'll make sure no one has touched their clogs!

They're the one thing I love, the only thing that makes me sure there's a god up above

Those wooden clogs on my feet, and they fit like a glove

And I would give up everything 'fore I ever let you touch my

Clogs

C-L-O-G-S

Now I lay me down to sleep

I pray the Lord my clogs to keep

If I should die before I wake

I pray the Lord my clogs to die

You can take my cash

You could force feed trash

I'd let you kick my balls while I chewed on glass

Before I even thought about letting someone touch my clogs

You'll have to take my life, you'll have to steal my dog

Have to beat my wife

You'll have to kill my mom with a rusty knife

You'll have to break my legs before I ever let you touch my