Spite

Well, it's been a long time since you left

I've been thinking quite a lot

About the things that you said

We were sitting on the beach

Talking about all you're regrets

I'll admit I was relieved

When you didn't say this was one

And I know I'm much to restless

Reel in all my expectations

Work on building up my patience

Too much, it's too much

Too much

Is this progress

Are you happy

Are you focused

I am pissed off

You said why is that?

I hate that you asked

'Cus I haven't figured it out myself

And I'm standing in a boiling shower

Trying to slow my racing pulse

I try to breathe

But I can't seem

To stop my trembling hands from shaking

And I know it's been a while since I broke

I been thinking quite a lot

About that time that we spoke

I was laying in my bed

Face first in my phone

When you told me over text

That you think you'd rather be alone

And I know I'm much to invested

Reel in my extensive second guessing

Forget my regrets

And finally go to sleep

But I am too fucking tired

To get into bed

So I am lying on the floor

On the carpet instead

I am buried in my phone

And the lives of my friends

I am marinating in nostalgia

There were thirty something people

A smoke filled room

And I was dodging conversations

While I stared at you

And you were caught up with your friends

But then you turned your head

And you smiled, discretely waved, then looked away

And you smiled, discretely waved, then looked away

And you smiled, discretely waved, then looked away

And you smiled, discretely waved, then looked away

And you smiled, discretely waved, then looked away

Is this progress

Are you happy

Are you focused

I am pissed off

I am pissed off