Merry Quitmas

Oh no, something's wrong with Santa

Go and tell Rudolph, and go and tell Prancer

"You should have quit, Nick", said Dancer

You should have known that smoking's not the answer

Oh no, something's wrong with Santa

Go and tell Rudolph, and go and tell Prancer

"You should have quit, Nick", said Dancer

You should have known that smoking's not the answer

It's Christmas Eve in Lapland, the Elves are working with their hands full

The sleigh is fully loaded, and it's as heavy as an anvil

In the office sits a Doctor, face lit up by a candle

"I'm really sorry, Nick, but Christmas is cancelled"

Santa's face turned ashen, a heavy-hearted sigh

He gazed upon the stars in the cold Lapland sky

He'd failed the whole world 'cause tonight he wouldn't fly

He thought of all the children, and the tears that they would cry

He knew deep inside, in a moment of reflection

That years of puffing smoke had led to this infection

He fell down to his knees with Mrs. Claus annoyed

He muttered to himself, "I'm a stupid, silly boy"

Oh no, something's wrong with Santa

Go and tell Rudolph, and go and tell Prancer

"You should have quit, Nick", said Dancer

You should have known that smoking's not the answer

Oh no, something's wrong with Santa

Go and tell Rudolph, and go and tell Prancer

"You should have quit, Nick", said Dancer

You should have known that smoking's not the answer

I thought smoking was amazing, and I would always be tokin'

The cigarette it would be blazing, like Rudolph's nose would be glowing

And now my wife is raging, well, better yet, this time she's exploding

Because the sleigh bells are not sleighing, and therefore we are not going

I mistook nativity for naivety and my dignity it is leaving me

I was important now, I'm impotent, it's no wonder you don't believe in me

It's Christmas Eve, so much to achieve, so let's do it beseechingly

I'll reprieve all of the aggrieved before all you people need to grieve for me anyway

Santa's got bars and a set of baubles, so here's what I endeavor (endeavor)

If you're gonna smoke, listen to this song it's a gift for you, a treasure

"There are no presents this year, ok, I'm going to do something better

It's too late for me but not you, I'm banning smoking forever peace"

Oh no, something's wrong with Santa

Go and tell Rudolph, and go and tell Prancer

"You should have quit, Nick", said Dancer

You should have known that smoking's not the answer

Oh no, something's wrong with Santa

Go and tell Rudolph, and go and tell Prancer

"You should have quit, Nick", said Dancer

You should have known that smoking's not the answer

Is bad in smoking for me soon, is bad in smoking for you