Rappin' Rodney

I tell ya, I'm alright now

But last week I was in rough shape

But I don't get a break with nothin'!

I played hide and seek when I was three

(No respect, no respect)

Why, they wouldn't even look for me

(No respect, no respect)

I was an ugly kid, I never had fun

(No respect, no respect)

They took me to a dog show and I won!

(No respect, no respect)

When I was born I brought no joy

(No respect, no respect)

My old man said he wanted a boy

(No respect, no respect)

I was an ugly kid, always alone

(No respect, no respect)

Halloween, I had to trick or treat over the phone

(No respect, no respect)

Friends don't call, my phone don't ring

I don't get a break with anything!

(What's the matter, Rodney?)

Ah, death, where is thy sting?!

It's just Rappin' Rodney, ain't wrapped too tight

No, no, Rappin' Rodney, get out of sight

It's just Rappin' Rodney, make no mistake

Poor old Rappin' Rodney, can't get a break!

I'm getting old, it's hard to face

(No respect, no respect)

When during sex I lose my place

(No respect, no respect)

Steak and sex, my favorite pair

(No respect, no respect)

I have 'em both the same way, very rare

(No respect, no respect)

I know I'm old, I could go any minute!

(No respect, no respect)

I got a kidney-shaped pool with a stone in it

(No respect, no respect)

Doctor Vinnie Boombatz, that's another one

(No respect, no respect)

I said I wanna stop aging, he gave me a gun!

(No respect, no respect)

I told him I got water on the knee

He gave me a sponge and raised his fee!

(What's the matter, Rodney?)

Ah, it ain't easy bein' me

It's just Rappin' Rodney, ain't wrapped too tight

No, no, Rappin' Rodney, get out of sight

It's just Rappin' Rodney, make no mistake

Poor old Rappin' Rodney, can't get a break!

Now, gimme a break! Play something from the 40s!

Now, what kinda music is this? How about "Stardust"?

Man, what are you doin'?! That's not "Stardust"!

Listen to this, will ya? I mean, where are the flutes?

What a band... ey, don't quit your day jobs

Look at this, the drummer carries the melody!

Hey, tell the bass player I like his instrument

Hey boys, keep it going! Lay it on me, I'm in the groove!

Nothing goes right, I just can't fight it

(No respect, no respect)

Well, Eastern Airlines thanked me for flying United!

(No respect, no respect)

I got some money, what did I do?

(No respect, no respect)

I bought some quicksand, the deal fell through!

(No respect, no respect)

My car broke down, I called Triple A

(No respect, no respect)

They left the car and towed me away!

(No respect, no respect)

I can't take it no more, I'm getting too old

(No respect, no respect)

I called Suicide Prevention, they put me on hold!

(No respect, no respect)

Winter, summer, spring, and fall

I'm always up against the wall!

(What's the matter, Rodney?)

Ah, I don't get no respect at all

It's just Rappin' Rodney, ain't wrapped too tight

No, no, Rappin' Rodney, get out of sight

It's just Rappin' Rodney, make no mistake

Poor old Rappin' Rodney, can't get a break!

It's getting worse, it's caving in!

The heaviness, I can't take it no more

It's all over... hey, where are my kids?

Somebody help me! Hey, bartender!

Hey, who's that guy with my daughter?

Where's my wallet? How do I get outta here?

Stop that dancing...!