Henry and Sam

Have you met my friend Henry?

Have you met my friend Sam?

One's long and lean, one's short and mean

Known quite well throughout this land

Have you heard my friend Henry?

Have you heard my friend Sam?

One's low and barks, one's quick and sharp

Known quite well throughout this land

I'd be dead if not for Henry

I'd be dead if not for Sam

They've spoke with those who've stood opposed

To the way I deal, the way I am

Grown to dislike my friend Henry

Grown to despise my friend Sam

Too many times, I've lost my mind

Felt them in my trembling hands