Ill Ender

These tears are only empty vessels Raining down upon this Ill, hopeless, bloodstained terrain I once hoped to strive here I never thought I'd die here Pain gives them strength They laugh and watch my breakdown Weep as I may screaming in fright Nobody cares A plea for help falls on deaf ears Flawed ritual, eager to flee Screaming to the masses In hope that they would hear They pretended to care Deceivers They all nodded with concern Fake reassuring gestures As if that changed anything Documented and filed away Strategies and detailed plans Focus group shams Another bell, another searing message Another threat, another sinister taunt I try to ignore the pain I try to numb it with a blade My once delicate skin Is a caricature Of the child I used to be So sweet, so innocent A few more slices The red makes their words subside Digging deeper in my forearm Used to make me feel so fine But lately this feels so boring Fresh canvas is what I need To paint and maim a new idea Another bell, another searing message Another threat, another sinister taunt I try to ignore the pain I try to numb it with a blade So rejuvenated, let's make someone else weep They have consumed me whole essence is fuelled by hate I strive to endure, but that end seems too late Far too late Shattered, blind and weeping Broken empty human I finally decide to rest Their spiteful words and voices Continuously constant echoing Never ending cycle repeating within me I cry out for guidance To sullen overpacked ears There is no one that can help me There is no one that cares I found my father's gun I brought it to school I shook as I fired it I screamed as they did too I hoped that this would end it But it just made things worse