Always Here

I don’t mean to read between your lines again

But you’re wanting me to the way you breathe in

The pause the weight You’re waiting for me to move

I see it, I know it, I never know what to do

I can’t move

can’t move

always here

I’m stuck pacing through my own head again

Wind my way out for the evening

Only long enough to laugh and dick around

Make my way back before I touch ground

Right when I think I’m pushing

I find I am barely holding

It’s a game other people win

It’s a moving truck with no engine

Sleeping through all the alarms

In the sun, wading heavy and hard

I don’t budge I never move

Won’t/can’t it’s all the same to you

Every time I think about all the things that I’m missing out on

By being who I am, it bogs me down and weighs