Doolally

And action!

Just got a parking fine, but I'm dressed to the nines

Who cares?!

Just sold a few tickets

Racked up a few digits

Lovely

Yeah, lads on their way round

A few tequilas spare

But I've done most of 'em 'cause I'm a 'mare

But a few instances I'll be right there

Yeah, come on, squat party, warehouse

Lovely jubbly

Country's gone right down the pan

But as long as I'm an house music fan

I'll be there with a four-pack of cans

Lovely

As long there's no grasses, though

God! I hate fucking grasses

They should just fuck off if they're long gone past it

Bastards!

Fucking grasses

Keep them eyelids closed

If I had a couple of strong paper clips

I'd clip their fucking eyes closed

Oi! Yeah, lads through the door, ready to market

Few tequilas spare, sharpish

Down the Gregory Peck

Bit of cologne on the chest

Tom Ford, yes!

Got the text, postcode address

Conquest

Lads in their sunday best

Lovely

Uber outside the crescent

Lads peacocking, no pheasant

Heard Sheila's gonna be present too

Fancied her since about Year 2

Nowadays heard she loves a bit of gear too

Driver, drop the gear down from 3 to 2

Round the corner, here you go, dudes

Here's a tip for you, geeza

He had the old-school tunes playing, got us right in the mood

Door number 32

Interlude

You alright darling Lulu?

Were downstairs, can't quite find the route

Give us a sec, Hak, I'll be down and come find you in a few

Alright, lovely

Straight down the stairs, straight through

Fairy lights, decorations, everyone's in some sort of two-step meditation revelation

Lovely!

Sheila's looking like the munchies

Curly hair tied up in a couple of bunches

With a couple of scrunchies

Moving a bit abruptly

That'll be vodka and the packet she clutching

Cor!

Can't be too keen

Cor!

Quite the dream she is

More, more, more everything

Tequila, reefa

Heads spinning like a seizure

Dealing ether out to a couple of beautiful beautiful creatures

Cracking on

Sheila's packet's gone

Couple of freebies and a cheeky kiss on the cheek later

I learned she's got a fella

Cheeky cinderella!

Still giving me the eye though

Lulu, this party's sick

Treacle's dancing on the sofa

Altogether, let's have a photo (Oi! Oi!)

2AM, 3AM, 4AM, session

Tayla's caught himself an absolute weapon

He's gonna need more than a few seconds in there

Cor blimey! Look at the stare!

She's bloody fabulous to be fair

Blimey! Yeah!

What was that? A wonderful 300 seconds?

They're out the carsey now

And they're still necking on

I blame Lulu

This party's one in a trillion!

Wow! Sheila's dancing a bit close now

Fuck! She's off again

Oh, she's back now

Teasing the Malteser

Always been a crowd pleaser she has

Can't let her have me up

Always had the Medusa touch she has

Gotta be strong

Here!

Tequila

Ugh! Shit!

Vodka straight

That'll make my body shake

Back in the rave, but it's too fucking late

Crash!

The boys in blue!

They've come to infiltrate

The bloody lights are on

Tit heads everywhere

Regroup!

Ezeikel! Taylor! Vernon! Major! Out the back stat!

Jumped straight out the alley

Couple of grassy skallies taking pictures

Far from a charismatic exit

But just another night to scratch off the tally

Doolally